


City of Dust: Book Two

by Froggy_Vibes



Series: City of Dust [2]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anything between reader and tubbo or tommy or Ranboo is strictly platonic, Canon-Typical Violence, DEPRESSED TOMMY ARC IS HERE FUCKERS PREPARE TO CRY, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Eletric boogaloo time, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I like to make yall suffer its funny, If i cant have found family v2 then whats the fucking point, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Post-Banishment arc, Reader is still a motherhen, Reader will stab a bitch, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, and a bit of a marysue but we're gonna ignore that, good news there will be an established relationship for reader in this, reader is a baddass, they are kids deadass, who knows! Not even i do, who will the reader end up with...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:08:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Froggy_Vibes/pseuds/Froggy_Vibes
Summary: After running away to live in retirement with Technoblade the reader and their masked friend are once again forced back into the lives they wanted to leave behind. But it'll be alright.Right?
Relationships: Technoblade/Reader, Wilbur Soot/Reader, ghostbur/reader
Series: City of Dust [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107176
Comments: 217
Kudos: 474





	1. New Songs

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to book two! This chapter is a bit shorter than usual but it's just the start soooo... Enjoy!

Your hands found their place on the swords hilt before you lunged forward, swords clashing together in a fight of pure strength and fervor. You bounced on the balls of your feet before leaping to the side, breaking the tie of stregnth and sending your pink haired opponent stumbling past you and into the sand. You laughed heartily as he rolled over and jumped to his feet with sand stuck in the soft fur of his boar mask.  
"Nice try Techno," You stabbed your sword into the soft sand, letting it stand on it's own as you walked over to him to help dust away the sand grains from his face. "but you forget you shouldn't go easy on me. Or perhaps... You're getting rusty?"  
Firey eye's met yours from behind the mask, your teasing was not taken lightly seeing as within a flash you were being scooped up over Technoblade's shoulder as he hollered about 'how dare you imply he was rusty' and that you would 'pay for this insolence with your life' before he began to stumble over to the nearby waves that lapped at his feet. You shrieked, clinging to the tower of a man as best as you could.  
"I take it back! No, no!" Your voice cracked with terrified giggles as you felt him gently jostle you, as if to throw you down. Techno's laugh made your heart soar with joy as he gently placed you down before running back to the swords you had both left on the beach.  
  
It had been a few months and life was easier without being under a constant threat of either war or being stabbed by a man in a green hoodie. You hadn't moved on completely of course, you had lost some people who were very important to you but in moments like these... It was nice. You felt like you were burden free once again. No intrusive thoughts about horrible things you had witnessed or the duties that lie beyond the ocean's horizon. Your life had become simple finally.  
Within a week of moving in with Techno you had build your own small room off of his home. It wasn't anything big, just simple enough to give you space to go when you'd want privacy. It had a small fireplace and a reading spot. Of course you had a bed but you usually ended up falling asleep in Techno's room while he read you history books or told you mythologies from different ancient peoples.  
  
The weather had been slowly getting warmer... Well, as warm as a snowy tundra could in spring. A few patches of grass had managed to peak through the snow already though, making you hopeful that you may be able to work on making a greenhouse soon. Maybe even a farm or two pending on how warm it got. Techno lead you back down the shoveled path from the beach to the house like he usually did, carrying his and your swords while he rattled on about what you both needed to practice on. Apparently your blocking was still far too slow for his liking (though you pointed out often that you usually fought with a shield) and that he needed to start expecting the unexpected. Especially if he was going to have you as his sparring partner again.  
  
  
The cabin came into view after a few minutes, the gentle puffs of smoke emitting from the chimney on the roof giving a promise of warmth that made your skin tingle. You weren't used to the cold still but Techno seemed to be well acclimated as he usually ended up walking around without his cloak. You weren't going to ask him about it though, it gave you the most cozy cape to walk around in after all. Sure, Techno was way taller than you which lead to the cape dragging about two or so feet behind you when you wore it but honestly? It looked very majestic. Or so the villagers of the nearby town assured you when you'd make trips into town.  
Ah yes, the village.  
You loved the town, the chatter, the families, the folks were kind and were a prime source of most of you and Techno's basic need stuff. They had special items of course but sometimes you could only eat rabbit so many times before missing the abilities to have mead or literally any other food.. BBQ was only good for so many meals...  
  
They also loved your company it seemed! The folks spoke a different language than both you or Technoblade but the villagers always seemed enthusiastic to teach you a few words every time you went down to pick up the weekly grocery items you needed. So far you only learnt words based on what items you bought the most. You could successfully order most basic foods such as fish or apples after a month of taking trips down to town weekly. 

Techno would go out hunting frequently, bringing home pelts to make new insulated clothing for the both of you. He even made you your own cloak that seemed to be the same design as his own. Unlike his, instead of the vibrant crimson your cloak was a similar blue as your old cloak that you left with Niki back in L'manburg. Sometimes you wondered if she kept it or gave it away? Maybe she didn't even think about it and left it laying around. Thankfully, one day you didn't have to wonder.  
It was still far too early in the morning for either you or Techno to be awake when a soft tapping at the kitchen windows slowly dragged you from sleep. Grumbling, you untangled your arms from Techno's as you shuffled down the ladder to check on the windows, figuring you just forgot to hatch the shutters again. But as you reached out the window a colorful something hopped it's way inside before chirping up at you.  
Your eye's landed on the familiar lime of an old friend.... Birdo!  
  
Your eye's sparkled with amazement as you scouped the shivering bird into your arms, "Birdo?" you whispered to him, "What are you doing here! Oh you poor thing, you feel like ice..." You brought the bird over to the fireplace, you could still see some small flames licking the bottom of the charred logs left inside from last nights dinner bbq. Placing Birdo on the warm stone that lined the fire you ducked to the side as you grabbed a few extra pieces of split wood and tossed them into the center of the small fire. After a few moments of fanning the fire back to life, birdo was nestled on the edge of the grey stone and enjoying the radiating warmth of the fire you made.  
You sat with him, your knee's up to your chest as you watched your pet peacefully rest.  
He must be exhausted... L'manburg was a really far trip. You noted how disheveled Birdo looked, his feathers sticking out in odd places. Then you spotted a small parcel tied to his leg. Your eyebrows furrowed as you reached over and undid a small string that kept it to his leg. The parcel was about the size of a lipstick container with two screw on caps on the ends. Cautiously, you unscrewed one of the ends and from within the small tube plopped a rolled piece of paper into your palm. Unscrolling the parchment you read:  
  
_Y/n,_  
_I don't know if Birdo will find you, hopefully he doesn't die. Sorry for risking his health to get this to you. Bad news, Tubbo is being made to banish Tommy by Dream. I don't know when you'll get this so it might already be too late. I'll sign the date of his expulsion from L'manburg at the bottom of the page. Anyway, if you can please send Birdo back. I just want to make sure you're alright. Everyone missed you a whole lot.  
  
P.S. I hope you don't mind that I kept your cape. _  
  
_Stay safe, Niki._

Your heart stopped as you read her name. Niki. They missed you? Even after you left... But besides that what the FUCK does she mean Dream's making Tubbo banish Tommy? After all that, they were going to be separated again? You grumbled, your hands raking through your hair as you began to feel the old feeling of worry settle into your body. Worry for Tubbo, worry for Tommy. Worry for your boys. You swore under your breath, covering your face with your hands before scanning the bottom of the page for his date of banishment...  
  
_December 3rd._  
  
Your hands shook with grief, that was two months ago. Shit. You pushed yourself up from the floor before rushing upstairs, "Techno-" You flew over to Techno's bed, hands grabbing his shoulder and shaking him awake. "Hgm.... Heh?" Techno fixed his mask before sitting up to look at you. "What?" He grumbled, tugging his shirt down over his stomach before reaching a hand under the boar-mask to rub at his eye's. His brain was slow on the uptake but once he saw the pure panic on your face he found himself standing in a flash, grabbing the nearest axe in hand. "What is it? Is someone here?" Techno began to walk to the ladder, ready to throw down with some unwelcome visitor. You rushed to your cloak that hung on the wall.  
"No, no it's Tommy he's been exiled I need to go back to L'manburg." Tugging the cloak off it's hook, you fastened it's clasp around your shoulders. "I have to-" You panickedly looked through the nearby drawers. "I need-" Your breathing became short and rapid, your heart thumped and all you could hear was the pulsing of blood in your ears.  
You turned and expected to be ready to fling yourself down stairs but Techno's hands caught your arms as he held you steady infront of him. "No."  
  
You wriggled in his grasp, "What do you mean no?! I have to- I have to save him Techno." Your voice cracked, looking desperately to the way downstairs. You had to go back. You had to find him and help him. Techno's voice rang in your ears as his fingers dug into your skin, this time his tone deadly serious. "I said, no."  
  
You looked up into the mask as he tried to calm you down, "You don't need to. Tommy is a big boy, remember? Remember when we left? You watched him and Tubbo battle the Withers, they were fine. He can take care of himself. You no longer need to protect them... How did you even find out he got exiled?" Techno's grip loosened and his hands dropped down to hold yours between your bodies. You took a deep breath, explaining Birdo and the letter from Niki. Techno hummed, letting your hands drop so he could undo your cloak latches and place the hefty item of clothing back on it's hook.  
"Birdo can stay here for a bit, write back to Niki and ask her to tell you where they sent him. If he's nearby, we can go look for him. Okay?" Techno rubbed a soft circle into your back as he lead you back into his bed, sitting on the end as he tucked you back in. "You sleep some more, I'll stay up and keep watch over Birdo." Gently, he placed a soft hand on your cheek. You curled into the warmth of his hand before letting out a soft sigh. Tears danced in your eye's as you nodded in agreement to the plan. Techno left to sit downstairs and left you to try and push down your thoughts so you could sleep in just a little bit more.  
  
Finally, your mind slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
\----  
  
A week passed and you had sent Niki back a letter asking for her to tell you where he was. Birdo seemed reluctant to go but after being tempted with seeds he agreed to flap his way off and away back to L'manburg. Meanwhile, you couldn't stop thinking about Tommy. Alone, exiled by that horrible masked bastard named Dream. Your hands snatched a wicker basket off of the mudroom table before shouting up the ladders to Techno, "I'm heading down to town, anything special you want?"  
Techno's mask popped into view as he peered down at you, pink hair dangling loosely around his face. "Uhhh, grab me some ink! You used the last bit I had for the letter to Niki."  
You nodded and made a mental note to not forget his request before tugging your cloak over your shoulders and heading down the snowy path to town. You enjoyed the silence the outdoors brought. The path guided you in through some of the spruce woods that surrounded Techno's cabin.  
Usually you would hear the sounds of foxes chasing after rabbits or deer passing by, only to stop and look at you with their big round eyes before dashing away into the thickest bits of the woods. Sometimes you could have sworn you heard ghostly howling but Techno assured you it was just a fisher cat or something. But it felt like the woods were dead today . It felt like the tree's had eye's that watched you as your footsteps crunched along the path. The birds were silent and not even the wind seemed to rustle the branches.  
The trees never once groaned in the winds that whipped your cheeks. It was... Foreboding.  
  
Just when you thought it couldn't get worse you heard distance voices. Your hands grasped your basket as the voices sounded from the woods just beyond the tree's along the pathway to the village. The voices were getting closer...  
Your eye's darted to the shadows that moved distantly behind the trunks of the spruce tree's. The sounds were familiar but, surely not... Surely you were just mistaking some of the men from town as the old Vice President. Then you heard Quackities unmistakable shrill shouts from the woods: "WHAT THE FUCK-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"  
What the fuck indeed.   
  
Your basket dropped into the snow as you spotted the familiar man, dressed in what seemed to be a bloody butchers uniform. Your feet began to run, dragging in the snow as you legged it back to Techno. You had to tell him that the L'manburgians were here. Your throat hurt as you inhaled the freezing air, it felt like it was suffocating you. God you hated running in the cold. You forced yourself to keep going, not caring how your muscles burned or how you could feel snow being kicked into your boots, making patch of skin go numb where ever it melted. You practically fell into the house screaming for Techno. Thumping footsteps came bounding down to the first floor, his cape whipping around to reveal he was already in full armor.  
"I know." His voice was low and dangerous, he pulled you along before pulling you up into his room before dumping everything he had in one of his clothing chests out. You watched in confusion as he shoved the contents under his bed, all but for a few shirts, before pointing to the empty chest.  
"Get in."  
Your head tilted at his order, "What?" Techno huffed before he began to shove you to the chest. "You need to hide, they just want me. Stay here until it's safe." And despite your objections, eventually you were placed inside the chest and covered with a thin layer of clothes just so if Quackity and whoever he brought along happened to go looking through his stuff. The world became dark as Techno shut the lid before you heard him descend the ladder.  
Then there was a scuffle.  
  
Muffled as it was, you knew there was definitely more than one person that Quackity brought with him, probably... two or three others? Your ears strained, trying to hear what they were saying... Then... "Hey! Wait-"  
The voice made your heart leap. Tubbo.  
Faster than lightning you shoved open the chest with all your might. You rushed to get down stairs, nearly tripping on one of Techno's shirt that caught on your boot as you made your way down the ladder. Just as you were about to open the door, a collective panic broke out among those outside. You peaked through one of the windows to see down bellow.. Technoblade fighting hard against Quackity and his crew. There was Quackity, Tubbo, Fundy and... Someone new. You looked at the new person with interest, he seemed to be a demon of sorts? His face was split in two, one side looking like a Ghast while the other half seemed similar to a Enderman. Your body stayed frozen as you watched Quackity reappear with Carl, a sword ready to swing down and kill the horse.  
Techno froze in his tracks as they talked. Techno dropped his sword before starting to undo his armor before those around him cuffed him and began to lead him away to the woods followed by... Something? You couldn't see it as it seemed to hide in the tree's but you caught sight of what seemed to be a yellow sweater before it followed the absconding group. Techno's head spun to look back at the house, at you... He softly shook his head as if to say 'don't follow'. Damn.  
You realized you hadn't moved a muscle this entire time, breathing a deep breath as you found you seemed to also had been holding your breath. You slumped against the door, tears beginning to brim at the corners of your eye's.  
  
What the fuck just happened and how can you fix it?  
  



	2. Dead-Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Before we get into the thick of it I want to ask a favor from y'all! If you have the time, go over to Twitch.tv/ParzivalleKnight and give me a follow!  
> I am only 9 followers away from Affiliate (it means i get to make money :D) and you can always unfollow later if you want. I stream frequently and usually play minecraft or do art with my friends! Plus I think it'd be pretty cool to get some real-time interaction with my readers to answer questions about this story!  
> But yeah! Come check out my streams at ParzivalleKnight on Twitch :D
> 
> Anywho, thank you for your time and enjoy!

[Where did your spine go I know I've got none. Is your heart break that breaks first or fragile bones?](https://open.spotify.com/track/0I8x68KiTOvx1VGDJLXzGO)

  
Your heart thumped erratically against it's bony cage. What were you going to do? You looked behind you, eyeing the chests you knew Techno kept well stocked for fights... He asked you not to follow him but... You took a sharp inhale of breath before beginning to dig through the chests. You pulled out some iron armor, throwing it on as fast as you could before snatching a diamond axe you kept under your bed (only for emergencies of course). Lifting your bed further, you took out the support of your bed which... Was just your shield. You wanted to keep it hidden... Just in case...  
Your boots seemed to stop before the doorway out. You stared through the doors windows, _should you be doing this_? Nibbling your bottom lip a bit you began to pace, contemplating on if you should go after the boys while knowing with every second you wasted Techno was being dragged farther and farther from you. Why did they decide to come hunt him down? He was in retirement! You are in retirement! You hadn't done anything to them for months. You thought when you took Technoblade's hand you'd never have to look back but.. Now it seemed you were being forced to.  
Sighing, you reached for the doorknob with a shaking hand.  
  
You can do it. You can face them again. You can look back into the past you just had to get over it. Closing your eye's, you threw the door open like you would rip off a band-aid. The cold air hit your face like a sheet of ice. Slowly, your eye's blinked open...Only to lock eye's with stormy and tired blue ones.

" _W-...Woman!?_ "

Your muscles tensed as you took in the familiar but ragged form of Tommy Innit. The axe in your hand clattered to the ground making the lanky boy flinch, taking a step away from you and getting ready to run as he stared at you with wide and unbelieving eye's. Your voice was barely heard over the sound of the whipping winds around you both, "Tommy?"  
The boy before you stayed in place with a look of a deer in the headlights as you took two quick steps to land yourself right in front of him before flinging your arms around his shoulders and tugging him down. "You stupid boy-" You choked. Tommy stayed frozen, doubled over until he melted into your touch as his arms looped around you. He was freezing... And bonier than before. You could feel his rib cage through the hug... You pulled away, keeping a hand on his shoulder before leading him inside silently and setting him down in-front of the crackling fireplace.  
You silently pulled your cloak off yourself before wrapping it around his tattered shoulders. Tommy just stayed quiet as you moved back across the room to begin gathering food, placing it in a pan that you held with a sharp focus over the flames in front of him. Soon the cabin smelled of fresh vegetables and steak. Once you were sure the food was warmed, you placed the pan in front of him before fetching the scrawny boy a fork. It was when you handed him the fork that you realized you were trembling the entire time he was there.  
Tommy silently ate, nervously sending glances to the door before wolfing down the food you gave him while you sat on a chest near the doorway. You didn't know what to do, especially now that Tommy was here. If you left him you didn't know if he'd still be here when you'd get back but you knew you were losing more and more time to go get Techno. The half-feral teen before you slowly stood up once he had finished his food, bringing it to the kitchen himself before staring at you as if waiting for an order or demand.  
Your eye's flickered up to his. He seemed just as torn between something as you were...  
  
You glanced outside (you could have sworn you saw something approaching but it was probably just the tree's waving in the wind) as you tried to weigh your options. You knew Techno was pretty much defenseless but... Your gaze returned to Tommy. He stood, fidgeting with the dirt stained sleeves of his shirt. Tommy's clothes were torn in multiple spots, some spots showing somewhat fresh scars or the shadow of his ribs. What did they do to him? He helped them get L'manburg back, and this was his thanks.  
He truly was Theseus it seemed.  
Your eye's darkened as you realized who had done this. Dream. It was always Dream. The bastard made everything so complicated... Your eye's flashed with something that had become a bit old to your outward appearance, pure rage. "What did he make you do?" Standing, you walked over to Tommy to begin giving him a once over for any fresh wounds. "What did he _do_..." Your voice broke softly as you saw the dark circles under his once bright eyes. Dream did this. _He_ did this to _your_ boy. And one day you'll make him pay.  
  
Tommy stuttered as he spoke up, "He- He uh... He brought me across the ocean in a boat. Made me throw away all my things." He seemed ashamed to even be saying what happened, "Uh... I'm.. Not allowed to go to L'manburg obviously." Tommy's hands pulled up into his sleeves as your hands reached for them. Your eye's caught glimpses of blood on his knuckles as they retracted under the dirty cloth.  
You looked up at him in an unamused manner before asking him sternly to show him his hands. Tommy gulped as he slowly placed his hands, palm down, on your own. The skin on his knuckles was horribly bruised and bloody. You gasped, tugging him over to the chest by the door and making him sit as you fetched a first aid kit. You made your choice, you were going to do as Techno said.  
  
Well.. Taking care of a feral teenager may have not been on the list but... He never said you couldn't.  
  
Returning to the room with a swift pace, you crouched down to begin tending to Tommy's bloody knuckles. "After all this time, I still have to patch you up.." You mumbled (more to yourself than to Tommy) as you began to gently wipe his wounds with a wet washcloth. Tommy grimaced, "Well I didn't ask you to, _woman_."  
Your attempts to clean the wounds paused as you looked up into his face with a grumpy frown. As you began to move away, you noticed him flinch. Your grumpy mood towards him calling you 'woman' switched to absolute mother-hen mode. Had Dream hit him? Had he been so horrible to this boy that now he thinks his own friend would hit him for something as small as that?  
You whispered a soft, "Sorry." before making sure to move slowly from now on.  
The fact you apologized seemed to confuse him, "W-..What do you mean.. 'Sorry'?" Tommy's teeth clenched in pain between his words as you dabbed some alcohol onto his wounds to help rid any bacteria.  
"I mean I'm sorry." You gently explained, wiping the last knuckle on his abused hands, reaching over to the kit to pull out some cotton pads and cloth wrappings. "I left you in L'manburg thinking you didn't need me anymore. Turned out, I think you still did." You gently placed the white cotton padding over the wounds before beginning to wrap them snugly as you continued, "Niki sent me a letter. Took too long to get here. I-" Your eye's looked back into Tommy's as you forced tears back. "I wish I knew sooner. I wish I didn't leave."  
Your shoulders slumped, "Now you're here and have to deal with..." You motioned to the frozen wastelands outside as you stood to look out the front door, "All that-" Your voice was stuck in your throat as you locked eye's with something outside the door. No, no. Someone.  
  
Tommy watched you before focusing on the patches on his hands, flexing his fingers experimentally before standing up and shuffling over to you. He loomed awkwardly next to you while watching your line of sight out onto the porch before he also found himself stuck inplace. "O...Oh dear."

" **Hello?** "  
  
Your eye's brimmed with tears almost immediately, there was no way in hell that Wilbur fucking Soot was standing outside your door right now. He didn't look real, maybe seeing Tommy and having Techno be arrested was making you have stress hallucinations.  
  
" **Can.. Can I come in now Tommy?** " Wilbur's whited out eye's drifted from your shell shocked form to Tommy's equally shocked face. "Uh, yuh- well, uhm." Tommy looked over to you, "Uh, is... It okay if he comes in?"  
You looked to Tommy with an 'oh shit' look as you realized Wilbur wasn't a hallucination. Your brain blanked as you opened the door an in floated a partially see through Wilbur Soot. His arms were tucked against his chest as he peered around the first level of the cabin. " **Oooh, I can't feel anything but this place is toasty!** "  
His voice was echo-ey, as if he was stuck in some sort of cave... You closed the door, scrubbing at your eye's. You checked to see if he was still there and... Yup. There was a floating Wilbur in your living room. Cool. He had a beanie on, his usual curly brown hair poking out from under the hat. His yellow sweater became a dark inky black in the center of where you remembered (with a horrific lurch in your stomach) Philza had stabbed him. Then his pants seemed to fade into nothingness.   
"Tommy," Your eye's never left the spectral form of your former friend as you asked with a horrified shiver. "What the _fuck_."

\---

It took him about an hour to calm you down enough to listen through the whole story. Apparently he had just appeared after you left, completely memory-less and friendly. He remembered a few things from time to time. Ghostbur, as he liked to be called, regained a few memories though some were... off about the outcomes of situations. The entire time Tommy frantically explained everything, Ghostbur watched you with a slightly tilted head. He... Kind of remembered you. At least he felt like he should.  
Once Tommy was done explaining and you had stopped shaking he thought it'd be the best time to ask you your name. You wanted to sob as a soft smile broke across your face. Your boys... Your dumb, dumb boys.  
" **Oh no- Don't start crying again please.** " Ghostbur became panicked, trying to backtrack his question before you shook your head. "I'm Y/n, we were friends." You gently put out a hand. "It's nice to meet you... again."  
  
You felt horrible. The whole thing was so bittersweet. You had him back but at what cost? Did he even have any recollection of who you were? Of what you would've done to have him back in the flesh? Gently his ghostly hand touched yours. It felt like a horribly cold silk sheet had wrapped around your skin before he shook your hand once and let go. " **Yeah.** " Ghostbur's eye's seemed trained on you, eyebrows furrowed as he dug into his memories. Why couldn't he remember you?  
You spent the whole day tending to the rest of Tommy's needs. You managed to get him to go to the village's bath house to clean up a bit. Meanwhile, you stitched his clothes back together.  
After he was put (mostly) back in order you brought him to the market and asked him to pick out whatever he wanted for dinner tonight and that if he saw anything special he wanted, you would get it for him. You passed the local toystore, his face momentarily stuck on the window that looked into the brightly lit toy emporium.  
In the window stands were a few neat objects. Telescopes, a red and white patchwork doll who's button eye's seemed to follow you, some fake swords that were matched with painted wooden shields, and lastly... A jukebox. Tommy's eye's seemed trained on the last item.  
Slowly you approached his side, trying to keep the bundles of food you just bought from slipping from your grip. "Do you want it?"  
  
Tommy jumped, apparently too focused on the music player to have heard you sidle up next to him. He gulped before shaking his head. "No, no. It's... It's alright." He dragged his gaze away from the box to your arms that were overflowing with parcels. "Oh uh-" His hands grabbed a few ready-to-fall-off bundles and tucked them under his arms before following you back to the house. When you arrived back inside the cozy building you found Ghostbur sitting quietly and staring into the fire. You still didn't know how to feel knowing the man who put everyone in L'manburg in immediate danger (hell he was practically a terrorist) was still.. 'alive' and had forgotten everything apparently.  
You began to cook up lunch, packing away whatever food Tommy wanted for dinner into the icebox while you were near the freezer.   
"Y/n?" Tommy's voice sounded unsure as he watched from the fireplace, he had been chatting with Ghostbur when he realized that you were one occupant short in the house. Yes, he knew this was Techno's house but Ghostbur never mentioned seeing you here. "Where's Techno?"   
Your stirring of stew halted as the question hung in the air. "He-" You turned around, biting your lip as you tried to decide what was best to say. Lie or tell him Techno had been arrested mere moments before Tommy showed up... "He'll be back. He just had some business to take care of. Hunting trip... Y'know?" The lie came out smoother than you'd like to admit. Tommy nodded softly as he looked anxiously up at the large portrait of the pig-man on the farthest wall.   
With a warm glow from the fireplace and the bright white light filtering in from the windows, you and Tommy sat together to talk about L'maburg while consuming a sub-par rabbit stew. The topic came to the Manburg vs Pogtopia War and a wave of guilt flooded your system.   
"I didn't leave, y'know. Not until I saw you guys beat the Withers. I didn't want you to die without me knowing but it seems-" You placed your nearly empty bowl down on the floor that you n Tommy were sitting on while Ghostbur rested in midair, listening to your conversation. "-it seems I still doomed you... I'm just thankful you found me when you did, you looked like you were about to keel over from hunger." You gently poked Tommy's ribs. Tommy snickered at this, slapping your hand away before frowning a bit.   
"Y/n, can I ask... Can I ask _why_ you left?"   
  
Ah yes, the question that sometimes you even wondered about. You tilted your head as you gazed up to Ghostbur before taking a deep breath as you started to explain. "I figured you and Tubbo were big enough to handle things. Plus..." Your gaze drifted off of Ghostbur. "I... After everything that happened I don't think I could walk the streets of L'manburg without having those horrible memories flash behind my eyelids every time i walked past the podium.. Or the van..." Your voice was meek which was something Tommy hadn't really seen you do.   
"Niki missed you, she was very upset to know you left." Tommy's mention of Niki made you smile to yourself as your cheeks warmed up at the thought of her kindness to you. She was very kind, kinder than anyone else you had met honestly. You wished you could've gotten to know her better. Thankfully, Tommy missed the softening in your eye's and heart at the mention of the baker. Soon you found yourself slurping the rest of the soup down with Tommy.   
A sudden realization caught you off guard as your thoughts trailed down the memory of the Withers. "Oh! Hey, speaking of the Withers... What happened to Bertha, you said Dream took all your stuff?" Your hands fidgeted, hoping that Dream didn't have your beloved sword, Big Bertha. Tommy's face flashed with guilt. Oh no.  
"He- He doesn't have it!" The teen began to panic as he explained himself, "You see when... When we got here I... I realized I must've dropped it and-" You sighed in relief which... Threw Tommy for a loop. "Wha-... I lost your sword and you're relieved!?" his voice sounded like a squawking bird. Your smile grew as you laughed out, "At least the bastard didn't destroy it, or worse, have it! I'm glad she's lost somewhere out there." Tommy's tensed body relaxed as he realized you weren't angry with him before he muttered: "But you loved that sword..."   
Shaking your head with amusement you leaned back. "Yeah but I love you and Tubbo way more. If Dream had Bertha we'd be screwed. He'd have one of the most powerful items around. He could easily kill the majority of the server with 'er. Don't get me wrong I'm sad that she's gone but I'm happy he didn't take her." You slowly reached your hand up to Tommy, placing your hand softly on his head before ruffling his bangs. He swatted your hand away in annoyance but at least this time he didn't flinch when you reached up to him.   
  
"You're weird woman.." Tommy grumbled, sending you into a chuckling fit. "What? Why, because I care about you guys more than a sword? Swords are replaceable Tommy, humans aren't." It seems that despite what you thought, Tommy still was childish in some ways. You couldn't blame him though, he was still young.   
  
Who knows when he'd learn his lessons, but God knows you'll be there to help him along. 


	3. Anchor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for supporting me on twitch! I hope to see y'all n get to chat soon! :D

[And I hear your ship is comin' in](https://open.spotify.com/track/7qH9Z4dJEN0l9bidizW7fq)   
[Your tears a sea for me to swim](https://open.spotify.com/track/7qH9Z4dJEN0l9bidizW7fq)   
[And I hear a storm is comin' in](https://open.spotify.com/track/7qH9Z4dJEN0l9bidizW7fq)   
[My dear, is it all we've ever been?](https://open.spotify.com/track/7qH9Z4dJEN0l9bidizW7fq)

  
You stayed up decently late with Tommy after dinner. The stars twinkled above as the clear cold night sunk it's icy fingers into the world around the cabin and your heart as you began to worry that for once, Techno wasn't going to be coming back. Tommy sensed the unease in your heart which in turn made him nervous.  
"Are... Are you sure he won't be angry that I'm here?" Tommy fiddled with one of the stitches in his shirt, admiring your handy work. His inquiry made you snap out of the trace you had put yourself in of watching the horizon for a sign. Turning your body to face him, you took his hands in yours as you reassuringly squeezed his cold hands in yours. "Even if he was, I'd fight him myself to keep you and 'Bur here."  
Your words eased Tommy tremendously. He found that the noise and hollowness he had felt for the longest time since his exile began to disappear the longer he stayed with you. A yawn escaped his lungs which alerted you to the realization it was... probably nearing midnight.  
Tugging him along to your room, you told him he could sleep in your room and that you'd be upstairs in Techno's room which made Tommy give you a strange look. "You... Are going to sleep in Techno's room?"  
The tone in which he used insinuated something very scandalous. Your face warmed as you gently poked his arm. "Not like that you weirdo!" You laughed out, "Me and him are just friends! He doesn't mind it if I stay up there." You pulled back your covers for him before walking over to your fireplace and began to fiddle with a flint and steel to start a cozy fire for Tommy. "Now, get to bed. I'll wake you up in the morning if I have to go out."  
Tommy awkwardly walked from the doorway, down the few steps down into your room, and slid into your bed. It smelt like animal furs and flowers. He smiled as you walked over after finishing setting the fireplace up, watching with childish wonder as you plucked a book from the shelf and sat at the foot of his bed. You flipped to the first page and began to read to him the story of King Arthur and his knights. Before long, Tommy's eye's became too heavy to keep open. Your voice faded in and out of his mind.  
For the first time in a long time, Tommy got a good nights sleep. No tossing and turning. No horrible nightmares. Not even a single horrible dread when he woke up to see himself alone with the fire long since put out.

Slowly, he slid out of the bed. Dragging his legs as he reached the threshold between your room and the main cabin floor. The sound of sizzling meats and the smell of fresh pancakes mingled in the air as he realized you had made breakfast. Your eye's focused on the food as you seemed to be in deep thought.  
" **Good morning!** " Ghostbur cheerily greeted as he floated into the room, making both you and Tommy jump. You quietly echoed his greeting as you noticed Tommy was up as well. "I was just about to get you." You mumbled as you took the pans off the stove, sliding it's contents onto a plate before sliding it on the counter towards Tommy. "Techno isn't back yet, I need to go and find him." You stretched as you walked towards the front door, plopping yourself down on the chest near the door to put your boots on.  
Tommy took his plate of food, simply grabbing a pancake with his hands before taking a very large bite out of it. He realized with a shock that this was the first time in months he had been having complete meals. He looked to you nervously, watching as you tugged your cloak off it's peg in the wall, "Hey uh- when... When will you be back?"  
He didn't want to miss a good lunch.. or dinner for that matter.

You frowned, "Uh, probably a day and a half? I'm not actually sure how far away L'manburg is from here. I just... Know it's across the ocean." You crossed the room before shoving your hand into one of the lower cabinets, withdrawing only when your hand found a compass. You stud studied the red hand for a moment, looking to where it pointed before pocketing it. "If you're worried about food uh-" You flung open the freezer before producing a frozen piece of steak. "Warm this up on the fire. There's also a tavern in the village if you want to go. Here."  
You untied a small purse from one of the belts you kept multiple pouches on before plopping it on the counter. "Emerald coins, don't use em all on me but... Make sure you eat a healthy meal. You look scrawnier than when we were stuck in Pog-"  
Tommy cut you off by placing his plate down and grabbing his own boots. "I'm _not_ leaving you."  
You objections were overruled. He explained that he'd just 'borrow' some of Techno's invisibility potions and come with you. Sighing, you begrudgingly lead him to the sea shore where you pushed a boat into the waters, you and Techno kept it around for fishing usually. Hopefully it could handle crossing an ocean.

But just as you began to push the boat off you spotted something on the water, drifting ever closer to the shore. You squinted and saw a glint of gold in the sunlight. It was a small vessel with a single sail.

Techno.

You shrieked, fumbling out of the boat as you dragged it back onto shore while Tommy squawked that you had 'rocked the boat' too much. You stood stoically as you watched the large boat drift closer and closer to you. Your heart clenched as you realized he was steering the boat with one arm, the other tucked close to his chest. Was he hurt?   
Carl was on the boat with him, nudging his owners shoulder from time to time when he noticed Techno begin to slump.

"Techno, what happened?" You gasped out as soon as he had practically rammed the boat onto the shore, lodging it into the sand. Techno's labored breaths made you realize something must have been horribly wrong. He kept his face down, hair obscuring his facial features. Grasping his a bloody pickax, he stumbled out of the boat before shambling back home with you and Tommy in toe. "Q...Quackity..." He gasped out as you looped one of his arms over your shoulders. You focused on bringing him back the way you and Tommy came. Speaking of Tommy, it seemed Techno hadn't even noticed the young boy yet, even as he grabbed Carl's reigns and lead him along behind you and techno.

Opening the door to the basement level of his cabin, Techno's lumbering form collapsed as soon as he set foot inside the house. You gasped.  
"Shit- Tommy go grab the med kit in my room, please!" You barked over your shoulder to Tommy who, as fast as he could process your request, dashed up to your room and came back down with the wooden box in his hands. You snatched it before practically tearing it open. You rolled Techno onto his back, "What did you do..." You muttered, shifting his hand away from a bloody stain in his white shirt. Your eye's trained on his slowly raising and falling chest, you hadn't noticed his mask was missing from his face.

You focused as you cut the shirt away from the deep gash he had in his side, you had no idea how the fuck he survived.

You asked Tommy and Ghostbur to step out of the room while you focused on stitching up and cleaning the wound on Techno's torso. Tommy didn't complain, his face pale as he watched you begin to put your nimble hands to work.  
You couldn't deny the deja vu you felt as you had Techno, bleeding out right before you. You pushed down surfacing images of Wilbur's corpse as best as you could, you could remember these horrific sights later but right now you needed to focus. Not until you had finished the last stitch did you realize his mask was missing. You felt your breath catch in your lungs as your heart squeezed.  
His face was adorned with many scars. The two biggest running across his cheeks and nose and the other down the left side of his face. His nose was bloody, lips busted, and his eye's shut. Then, in a moment of dawning realization that you'd have to take his shirt completely off to properly bandage the wound, your face burned red hot.  
This was going to be very... Embarrassing for both parties involved.

You settled on just cutting his shirt away, after all you didn't want to move him to much and break the stitches. You averted your gaze as much as you could as you grabbed some shears and snipped the blood stained cloth away from Techno. You realized he had even more scars littered on his body. You found yourself wondering, just for the briefest moment, about what battles he had fought to get them. You shook the thought away quickly as you realized you were definitely staring and it was... kind of weird.  
Carefully lifting Techno's back up from the floor, you wrapped the gauze from the first aid kit around his body. One hand on his chest, you could feel his heart beat softly under your fingertips. His chest still rose with each labored breath he took. At least he was alive. Your eye's looked down at your hands... They were covered in blood. Once again your mind had to force back the memories of Wilbur's death. But for a split second you weren't just in Techno's cabin, you were back in L'manburg with Wilbur in your arms and your hands covered with his blood.

You grimaced as you pushed your self and the memories down. Not the time to have flashbacks.  
You moved to the ladder once you were sure the bandages were snug, tilting your head up to call for Tommy. "Tommy? Can you help me lift him up? Grab a sheet, we'll need to use it to lift 'em." The sound of shuffling footsteps answered and soon the blonds familiar face was in view above you. "Uh, where are the sheets?"

\---

You had managed to get Techno into a bed down in the basement level, you and Tommy didn't have enough strength combined to lift Techno up the stairs to the first floor so... Here Techno would stay in a make shift cot until he woke up which was within a day. The sound of his grumbling that morning made you feel a wave of relief wash over you. The looming headache that had started to form in the front of your brain dissipated further as you saw him laying there, rubbing his eye's as he took in his surroundings. Tommy had followed behind you, watching with curiosity from the other side of the room with Ghostbur. Gently, you sat at the foot of Techno's cot before asking him in a soft voice, "Are you hungry?"  
Techno's eye's fluttered to meet yours.  
They were a striking gold color. No wonder it seemed like he had fire behind the eyes of his mask, the color practically matched the flames of the fireplace!

"Heh?" Techno's voice was gravely, "Uh-... Yeah..." He rested his head back down, his hand coming back up to rest over his eye's.  
You left the room, leaving Tommy to watch Techno and make sure if he needed anything else he could simply ask the younger boy. Tommy gave you a look of 'please don't leave me alone with him' but you assured him nothing bad would happen. You could hear from the kitchen the two talking already.  
Techno seemed to be relatively surprised of Tommy's presence, not angry though. He knew better than to upset you about Tommy too, not after the first Manburg festival. He still got nervous when you'd lunge at him in sparring practices... So, Techno simply accepted his fate of having to live with the Brit and his weird ghost friend for as long as you would stay with him. Once you had finished cooking the last of the eggs, you brought down enough plates for everyone. Except 'Bur, who had explained he didn't need to eat.  
With your help, Techno sat up slowly. Your eye's trained on the gauze around Techno for any sign of the stitches breaking. You didn't need him to bleed out mid breakfast. Once you were satisfied that he had safely sat up you placed the plate of eggs in his lap. Sitting next to the bed with Tommy and Ghostbur as you asked him what happened.

"They tried to execute me."

You nearly choked on your eggs. "They what?!" You felt the need to go back to the boats then and there just to sail across to L'manburg and kick Quackity's ass. Alas you knew you couldn't leave the boys, especially not when one had just gotten a life threatening wound and the other had been basically starved for the past few months. Techno continued to explain, "They had attempted to do the ol' anvil trick but-" From his pocket he produced a small and splintered totem. The emeralds of it's eye's cracked and darkened. "- I just so happened to have one of these in my pockets."  
You gasped, giving the Totem of Undying a once over in your palm. You were familiar with these, you had read about them once a long time ago and thought they were simply fairy tales, but apparently not. "How did you get one of these?" You passed the totem to Tommy who had been eyeing it curiously next to you.  
Techno took a sigh as he took another chomp of eggs. "You're not going to like it but," His eye's drifted to Ghostbur's translucent form then back to you. "Philza."

Your appetite died immediately. The last memory you had of the winged man was him standing next to his sons body, the son he had just murdered. You knew he had a reason for doing so but you couldn't forgive him for that. For taking Wilbur away. Techno could practically see the memory in your eye's. He could see the pain, the anguish you felt at the mention of the name. "I'm sorry, Y/n, but he is a friend of mine."  
You stood up abruptly, it felt suffocating in the room suddenly. "No it's..." the plate in your hands shook before you placed it on the nearby table. "It's fine. I'm going for a walk." You flung a cloak and your boots on before leaving the cabin, heading straight to the woods. Your pace went from a walk to a sprint once you reached the tree line.  
It was too much, you were remembering too much.

The stone rubble of L'manburg, the screams, the explosions, the fighting. It all came flooding back to you in one horrible moment. It was too much for you to process. You felt the snow at your shins as you stopped in place, trembling. You didn't know if it was from the cold or the trauma but you were shaking like a leaf. You tried to focus on your breathing, watching the air become before you a little puff of steam with every huff. But you could feel your heart and chest being squeezed. You gave up, collapsing on the forest floor and letting the heat of your body be cooled by the frozen ground. Softly you began to weep, alone and cold. You wondered if that was how Wilbur and Schlatt felt when they died.

You were so caught up in your own world you didn't notice the spectral form of Wilbur approach you. You hadn't noticed, but as soon as you rushed away he followed you. He felt like he needed to. Ghostbur didn't know why, he could barely remember you, but seeing you doubled over in the snow brought back a memory he had seemed to have forgotten.

A very vivid image of you wailing for Techno not to hurt Tubbo at some sort of festival.  
Of course Wilbur remembered Tubbo, he was nice. And he knew Techno now, Techno was the guy who came back really hurt the other day. But you were still mostly a mystery to him. Why did you give him looks of longing and sadness? Did he make you sad?  
He didn't want you to be sad and he didn't know why. So he gently stooped down to touch your back. Your wailing stopped as you gasped, falling over and scrambling backwards before you saw the pale and honestly, horrific, face of Ghostbur. You tried to compose yourself quickly, scrubbing away the flow of tears that had stained your numbing face.  
" **No no, it's okay to cry. Don't feel embarrassed to cry in front of me, look-" Ghostbur pointed to the teary smudge marks under his eye's, they gave the impression that he had been wearing a blue mascara and cried a lot. "-See, I look like I'm always crying anyway. So, it's okay.** "  
You let a soft bitter laugh escape your lips, "You're much kinder as a ghost 'Bur." You shuffled back onto your knee's, clutching your cape tightly around yourself as you simply stared at the snow right in front of you. "The things you did back then weren't kind 'Bur and I asked my self so many times if I'd ever want you to be alive again and now... You are." You motioned to the ghost before you. "But you don't remember anything. And maybe that's why... That's why I'm forgiving you. Because I don't think you're the same as before. But I'm so conflicted 'Bur... I.. I was there when-" Your voice caught in your throat as you focused on the horrible black pit in his stomach. "When it happened, you made it all happen you-" Your voice died in your throat. You couldn't pin this on him, he barely remembered you.   
  
You couldn't hate him because he didn't even remember why you'd hate him.  
  
Ghostbur 'sat' (it was more like he just levitated down) before you, his hands searching in his pocket for something before pulling out a small pouch.  
You watched curiously as tears continued to brim at your eye's as he pinched out a little bit of blue from the pouch before offering it to you, "Here! This is how I get rid of my sadness. You see, it sucks out all the sadness and sad memories and turns them into blue and then you can just throw it away!" To demonstrate the process, he tossed the bit he had. The blue color splattered onto the snow making it look like someone had dropped a blue snow cone a few feet away... Once again, he dipped his hand into his bag before offering you some of the blue dust.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you sniffed, trying to stop your nose from dripping from both the cold and from the excessive amount of tears you had been shedding moments ago. Hesitantly, you reached out. Ghostbur gently placed the small bit he had taken from his pouch into your palm. It was a powdery substance, almost like powdered sugar, soft to touch but oddly had a sort of mint effect where it made things really cold and icy. You didn't know if it was just placebo but as you watched Ghostbur excitedly scan your face for your reaction, you felt better. The memories seemed to fade from your consciousness as you looked at Ghostbur. He was different from WIlbur, but he was still him.  
  
_You still had him after all this time_.   
  
You felt the blue stop being icy and you assumed that meant it was done. You gently placed the blue down in the snow next to you, your hands lightly smudged and stained.   
Your focus on your hands was interrupted as Ghost bur excitedly spoke up, " **Oh! Now we match. Look**!" You felt his cold hand wrap around yours. It still felt weird when he would touch you, once again it was as if a cold sheet of silk was wrapping around you where ever he touched. You you let him guide your hand into his own, your palms pressed against each other as he showed that you both had about the same amount of blue staining your finger tips. Gradually, a smile wriggled it's way onto your face. Your fingers laced with his as you pulled him into you. Ghostbur gave a shocked yelp as you pulled him into a tight hug. Your free hand resting on his back and grasping his yellow sweater as you buried your face in his semi-transparent shoulder.

He smelt like marshmallows and matches.  
  
  
Wilbur liked your hugs, it made him feel happy. Maybe you were like Blue? Blue could take away sadness and such and maybe you could give happiness! His logic seemed to make sense as when you gave Tommy a hug he also seemed to feel happy. Wilbur felt it from his toes to his head, you made him _feel_. It was nice, it felt familiar. Maybe you gave him hugs when he was alive and whatever was left of his body remembered it.  
  
Once you had stopped shaking and pulled away Ghostbur spoke up once again. " **Can I give you a nickname, Y/n?** " You pulled your cloak's collar close to your face before nodding and humming in agreement. " **Can I call you Yellow?** "  
Ghostbur's eyes, as empty as they seemed, were soft and kind as he saw you think for a moment before you asked him why he picked that specific name. " **Well, you see.** " Ghostbur helped you stand up, watching you brush snow away from your pants and cloak. " **I think you work like Blue. But instead of taking away sadness you give people joy and warmth. I don't remember a lot about you from when I was alive but... It just feels right to call you that.** "  
You felt the tears that pricked at the corners of your eye's swell again as you let a few fall. Trying to hide a watery smile you lifted your hands to your face,"Oh 'Bur..." You mumbled into your sleeve, "That's sweet. Thank you." With one last sniffle you offered your arm to Wilbur.  
"Want to walk back?" Your voice was raw and cracked but still held an air of unconditional forgiveness and care. He didn't know why his soul felt peaceful when he saw that look you gave him... But he liked it. Gently, the cold silk touch of his arm linked with yours and though you were both silent as you made your way back, there wasn't any pressing need to speak. It felt like you had known each other forever and didn't need verbal communication to know what the other was feeling. He still didn't understand why he felt that way but Ghostbur knew it must have meant you were important to him when he was alive still.   
  


When you came back you found Techno sleeping peacefully in the cot, his blanket of furs tucked tightly around his body. Ghostbur let go of your hand as he looked uncertain up at the first floor then the second. He seemed worried. You crouched next to Techno, brushing locks of his cotton-candy pink hair away from his sweaty brow before looking to see Ghostbur floating up though the ceiling then back down with the most panicked expression. "'Bur?" You stood up, tilting your head as you wondered what could possibly be wrong. 

  
" **Tommy's not here.** "


	4. Cough Syrup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out!!! I've been a bit burnt out!  
> In other news i wanna share with y'all:  
> My favorite band (a Japanese group called Oisicle Melonpan) just came out with a new album! And their music is FINALLY available on spotify for US users and I'm SO happy!!! I'd recommend their stuff!!! Anywho~ enjoy the next chapter!

[Just when did I make  
The promise I’m breaking  
I’m taking time to calmly rest  
This ache is dull but I’d have never guessed  
It’s never been addressed](https://open.spotify.com/track/2ExCz1cUkuIqPQdF7U55Cd)

\---

Your shout for Tommy died in your throat as you heard a knock at the door. Your eyebrows furrowed as you ran up to the first floor's door, shuffling as you scrambled to grip onto the cold metal doorknob. Cracking the door open you were met with a horrible sight for sore eyes and someone who definitely wasn't Tommy. _Dream_.

You felt your body ignite, your hand twitching to where Bertha's hilt used to reside on your hip instinctively. "Oh, hello Y/n. How's retirement been?" Dream's mask tilted as he curiously looked your shaking form up and down, "Mind if I come in? I'm looking for somebody." You wanted to gut him as he shuffled his way past you. How dare he even step foot in this house. This was your safe space and it's been intruded by the worlds biggest prick. Trying to remain calm, you walked over to the kitchen to lean on the counter and watch him nonchalantly as he inspected the living room.  
  
"Who you lookin' for?" You already knew. It was either Techno or Tommy but with what you knew about what he did to Tommy you had a feeling Tommy didn't want to be found. Dream's mask lingered over the dishes left in the kitchen, "Uh-" Dream seemed to consider what information he should share with you before turning around. "A friend! Your friend too, Tommy. Went missing a few day's ago and figured it wouldn't hurt to come out and help L'manburg look for the little tyke."  
If you didn't know what actually happened with Tommy and L'manburg you might have believed Dream but the fact he thought he could lie to your face made your blood seer the inside of the veins in your arms and chest, the burning rage filling you up until the blood pulsing in your ears was all you could hear over Dreams questions.  
Waving a gloved hand in front of your face to bring your attention back down to earth, Dream pondered but for a second if you knew. The look in your eye's was hauntingly familiar, something of a motherly protectiveness mixed with that of a feral animal, one that saw any human as a threat that needed to be eliminated. But what struck him odd was the motherly bit. Perhaps you had seen Tommy? Why else would a retired warrior such as yourself carry that look with you after all this time.  
  
Through gritted teeth, pushing a smile upon your face so hard your cheeks hurt you politely asked Dream to repeat his question. "The dishes, you and Techno haven't put them away in a while. How is he by the way?" Dreams attention bounced from the kitchen area to the ladder that lead both to the upstairs bedrooms and downstairs. That's when you noticed it, a bit of extra dirt on the ladder going up to the bedrooms...  
  
Tommy was hiding.  
  
You wanted to relax but there was still a very big threat on the premise. Your fingers twitched once again towards a nonexistent sword on your hip before your eye's dragged themselves away from the way up and instead leveling upon the way down to where Techno was. "He's..." Inhaling a shaky breath, you feebly attempted to calm your nerves. "He's downstairs if you want to see him. He lost a lot of blood and he's still pretty out of it, sleeping and such." Dream nodded softly. His hand slipped into a pouch on his belt and you felt your blood run icy as you figured he was just going to kill you here and now while Techno was out of commission. Noticing your deer in the headlights look Dream slowly withdrew his hands from the pouch, within which he showed you a small potion bottle.  
"Just some healing potion, here-" Dream offered you the corked bottle. Suspiciously, you took the item. Inspecting it's contents with the filtered in sunlight of the windows, you found no visible oddities. Though you also weren't... Familiar with potions as much as Techno. Dream gave the room a once over one last time before heading to the door. "I suppose Tommy hasn't been by here then, let me know if you do see him!" Dreams smile could be heard in his honey sweet tone he was using. It made you want to tear him to shreds.  
  
With a great relief you watched him begin to exit the door. Already, you were turning away to place Dreams gift to you and Techno down on the counter when a resounding thud was heard from upstairs. Your heart sank. _Shit_.

You turned around to meet Dream's mask peering up at the upper floor, his hand itching to the axe on his belt. Shit, how did you not notice his weapon before this? You had to think quick, "UH-" You made a move to climb up first but Dream was one step ahead of you. His hand raised to request you wait, "No, please. Let me. You're not armed, it could be an intruder."  
You wanted to cry out of frustration but you dumbly nodded, "Oh uh, thanks... Dream..." Your voice died as you watched him climb up. Scrambling, you followed closely behind his heels. Once you breached the second floor you whipped your head around as Dream began a quick sweep of the room. Every footstep sounded like thunder in your ear drums as you attempted to locate where Tommy went.  
  
Dream began to check under and in things which spiked your nerves. Under the bed, nope. Under the covers of the bed, nope. As you watched in horror as Dream searched the bedroom you spotted it, rather him. Tommy. He had lifted the lid of the chest Techno had told you to hide in just a smidgen when Dream had turned around. You bit your tongue, you had to be nonchalant about this. Or as nonchalant as you could be when your literal worst enemy is in the same room as you. So, casually walking over to Tommy's hiding spot, you did your best to come up with some excuse as to what the noise was as Dream continued the search in the rest of the room.  
He was being meticulous, you'd give him that. He checked every possible and impossible cranny Tommy could be hiding in. All but one. You rested your weight on the top of the chest as you focused on the floor in thought. What could you say? You didn't want to say it was Birdo because then he might know you had correspondences with Niki... It was obviously too late to say it was Techno falling out of bed or something... Then your eye's caught the corner of a page of a rather thick book that lay sprawled on the floor not to far from the bed.

  
Grinning you pointed to it, "Oh, look-" You bent over and lifted the book with ease, snapping it shut in one hand. "-It was just The Iliad and The Odyssey. Must have slipped off the bed." Placing the book back on the foot of the bed to demonstrate some semblance of 'hey yeah i put this book here all the time'.  
Dream stared at the book as he walked closer, "Oh, alright then."  
He sounded almost... Disappointed. You withheld your internal thoughts of anger towards the masked man before he apologized for the intrusion and finally (without any extra mishaps) left. You watched his green hoodie fade into the tree's for a moment, staring at the space between the trunks you last saw him at for a minute or two before rushing to the chest and flinging it open to reveal a knee-to-chest-ed Tommy, his wide and watery eye's meeting with yours.  
  
Tommy dropped the hand from his face as he began to climb out of the wooden compartment, "I hid cause I saw him coming before you came inside with Ghostbur... I-I'm sorry I didn't know he would follow me, I- I didn't think he'd notice I left I'm sorry." Tommy shook, out of fear or something else you had no idea. All you knew was he was upset because of Dream. And that wasn't okay.  
"Woah, woah, it's okay..." You soothed, offering your hands to help balance the tall teen as he clamored out of his hiding spot. Tommy shook his head, "I shouldn't have come here. I should... I should go-" Tommy made for the way down but your hands caught his fore arm with a surprisingly gentle strength that stopped him in his tracks.  
"You're not leaving, especially not when Dream is possibly still out there. It's not like... He probably would have come by anyway," You scowled softly, "I think he helped Techno get out of a bad situation or something... Part of him wanted to make sure Techno had made it back home safely so don't you dare take all the blame for Dream showing up." You pulled Tommy gently back to you, making him turn to face you. He refused to meet your gaze, his eye's locked on the windows that looked out over the frozen tundra's beyond the walls of the cabin.  
  
Slowly you reached a single hand up, Tommy's breath held for a moment as he flinched. A hand snatched your wrist to prevent it from coming any closer. Your eye's met with his confused and frightened ones before you continued to slowly move the hand to hold his face in the cup of your palm. "Plus, I just got you back. I don't want to have to leave you again... After all, who'd make you proper meals? Ghostbur?" Your teasing smile brought an ease to Tommy once again. Dropping your hand to his shoulder, you gave him a soft pat before walking down stairs to continue watching over Techno. Tommy followed suit.  
  
\---

After the run-in with Dream everything went back to normal.. Mostly. You kept an eye on the woods for any sign of the green-bastards return. You also always carried a weapon on you now. Sword, axe, bow- it didn't matter. You just couldn't run the chance of being caught off guard after that whole ordeal. What if Dream had found Tommy? What, were you going to fisticuffs-style fight Dream? No, you knew that he could've slaughtered you where you stood the entire time you had talked to him. Tommy changed a bit too. He'd go with Ghostbur (you refused to let him be alone when he went out now) and adventure or visit spots he wanted to go see but always kept one eye open for the sign of the masked man. Tommy knew now that if he was to be caught by Dream the punishment would be severe. The way you tensed whenever he said he was going for a walk told him so.  
  
You, in the meantime, had spent your alone time reading through Techno's books on potions. Finally you finished the third instruction manual (more like novel from how thick the books were) and felt pretty convinced the potion Dream gave you was safe for Techno to have. You'd mix the sweet liquid into his bowls of soup you'd have him eat for dinner. When he was finished you'd braid his hair, talking with him and Tommy about the day's actives. Some of the Villagers heard rumors of what happened to Techno and would deliver food for you so you could tend to his needs. When the Villagers would arrive at your door step, bundled in layers upon layers of brown furs, they'd say something along the lines of 'Here, take good care of him'. But they didn't say him, they said another word you weren't at all familiar with.

'Virtus'

  
You figured it just meant roommate or friend and would thank the villagers in their mother tongue. They'd nod with a hum and scurry back off to their homes over the hill banks, always with an air of joy whenever you'd say a word correctly without stuttering.   
You never thought much of it until Tommy asked you what it meant, "I... Actually don't know the direct translation. Techno might, he's better with their language than I am." The reply didn't seem to satisfy Tommy's curiosity, so he went in search of answers himself. Climbing down he spotted Techno in his usual resting spot with a book in his hand, lazily flipping from page to page.  
"Techno," Tommy strode up, scratching his head a bit, "The villagers keep using a word that Y/n doesn't understand. It was like... Virtue? Virus?" Techno's scarred cheeks burned a bright pink as he choked on the air in his lungs. "Heh?" Techno swung his legs over the side of his cot, slow enough as to not injure his still healing stitches but quick enough to catch Tommy off guard.  
"You mean 'vitrus'?" Technoblade begged in the back of his mind that the villagers weren't trying to set up Y/n with the chiefs son or something... Tommy nodded, "Yeah! That's it, what's it mean?"  
Techno let out a sigh, looking tiredly up at the teen. "It pretty much means like... Fiance, Husband, or uh..." He waved his hand and closed his eye's in thought, trying to find the right word for it. "Beloved. There isn't a direct translation but it's just a term of endearment or a relationship status sort of thing." His explanation befuddled Tommy who began to laugh heartily. "Holy shit! Y/n, Y/n!" Tommy's barking laugh caught your attention so you poked your head down the ladder to ask him what was up.  
"The villagers think you're dating Techno! That's what Vitrus means!" Tommy couldn't stop the loud laughter that tumbled out of his mouth. This was truly the funniest thing he'd seen in a while. You yelped and jumped up and away from the ladder as if something down there tried to bite at your face.   
" **Sorry, who's dating Techno?** " Ghostbur's form floated in through one of the walls making you leap once again, this time nearly falling over only to catch yourself on the door frame. Clutching your shirt you rolled your eye's, "No one! The villagers think I'm dating Techno." You tried to play it off like it was funny and not deeply embarrassing that you had just agreed with half the village that Techno was your boyfriend. You cared for him but not quite like that... Right?  
Ghostbur tilted his head, much like a puppy would, " **You're dating Techno?** " The echoing sentence rattled around in your brain making you splutter as you tried to deny it. "No! I'm- No one is dating Techno and no one is dating me!"  
  
A groan from downstairs told you Techno probably just facepalmed in an equal amount of stomach churning embarrassment. At least you both were at the same conclusion, this was very awkward. Ghostbur was thankful you had been so focused on hiding your face in your hands, that way you didn't see the relief on his face when you denied that you were in a relationship. He didn't know why it made him smug to hear that but he had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do about when he was alive with you.

\---

The next week Techno made a speedy recovery due to the health potion dream gave you. Soon he was back and training with you down at the beach again, this time with Tommy watching from the sidelines. You'd make trips down to the village, awkwardly mentioning how your _friend_ Techno was doing much better and that you owed the village greatly for bringing you so much food. A few of the villagers seemed to be just as embarrassed about having made the assumption that you two were an item and the others found it a bit funny that you hadn't known what Vitrus meant. Meanwhile the elders gave a skeptical look to each other, shared knowing smiles between one another.   
  
Finally Techno was completely healed up and he had... He had made up his mind about something, you would hear him talking to himself more than usual until finally one day he had announced he was going on a hunting trip and wouldn't be back for a while. This concerned you, but though you voiced your opinions of why he shouldn't go for so long after being fatally wounded he assured you that he'd be completely fine.  
Begrudgingly, you allowed him to head off with a large pack of supplies.  
Lingering by the open door, you watched him disappear over the hills while Tommy and Ghostbur chatted by the fireplace. Not until the last of Techno's silhouette was out of view did you finally return inside to start cooking meals for the day. Apparently Ghostbur and Tommy wanted to go out and follow the beach as far as they dared today. You reminded them to stay near area's where they could at least hide just in case Dream happened to be sailing around and spotted him.  
  
You had also noticed something odd starting to happen around the tundra. You'd spot tall towers of cobblestone. You didn't ask about it but you just assumed someone from the village was making them as watch towers. You don't know why but you didn't like it. They gave you a bad feeling.  
That wasn't the only thing you noticed. Your back kept getting horrible muscle cramps. Now, you didn't question it until one night where you were trying to sleep on your back and kept feeling something pressing into your back. You had gotten up to check your back, but you couldn't feel anything odd or out of place.. So you didn't think about it after that, brushing it off as maybe you just over did it when you'd go chopping wood so you asked Tommy to chop the wood from that point on. After that, it seemed to stop most of the cramps... But it didn't completely get rid of a tenderness you now constantly had between your shoulder blades.  
You ignored it, assuming it was just something you did to hurt your back. Maybe you tore something? Whatever, at least you could rest it with Tommy on wood duty.  
  
The afternoon Tommy and Wilbur came back from their beach trip, Tommy seemed to be a bit off. You knew Tommy pretty well and though you had gotten rusty on the whole 'motherly intuition thing' you could still tell something in his face traced along a facade. You couldn't place what he was hiding behind the confidant smile he'd give you when he would hand you pretty seashells he had picked out for you, but it wasn't pleasant whatever it was. It was almost like he had a hint of despair or fear locked behind the blue of his eye's, it showed only in the corners of his smile.  
Something wasn't right. You knew it.  
So you kept a closer eye on him, decided to incorporate him more into your daily chores which seemed to bug him a bit. You brushed it off, "Listen, if you wanna live here you gotta pull some weight! I'm not gonna clean all your laundry y'know?"   
Ghostbur kept a distance as he'd watch you and Tommy bicker over basic chores, he didn't like to interfere or try and help as he often left little blue fingerprints that stained most surfaces. You had already had to bleach one of your shirts from when he tried to wash it himself (it was forever a baby blue color even with the bleaching...)  
  
It was an odd time. Techno was gone and you were left to pretty much babysit a teenager and a ghost. It was almost like a limbo for a time before something interesting happened once again.  
The sound of strong wings flying past your window shook you from a dead sleep. Grumbling in annoyance as you got up, grabbed the nearest makeshift weapon (candelabra's were good weapons, right?) and made your way down to the front door. Just as you reached to open it, there was a soft knock from behind the door. "Hello?" You groaned, swinging the door open to meet the eye's of someone you almost hated as much as Dream. The striped bucket hat, the big golden wings and the green oriental garb made you stop breathing for a moment as the man before you greeted your sleepy presence.  
  
Philza gave you an awkward wave, "'Ello Y/n... Uh, long time no see?" Your face deadpanned as you attempted to slam the door shut but Philza's reflexes were substantially quicker than yours as he jut a foot out and caught the door from closing. "Uh-ow.. Uhm. I was wondering if we could... Talk?"  
You slowly opened the door again, candelabra lowered in defeat as you simply turned to walk to the dying fire in the living-room. "Yeah sure..." You were too tired to fight about this right now. Closing the door behind himself, Philza shuffled over to the fire and shook his wings free of a small layer of snow. Unamused, you looked at him with snowflakes littering your hair. Philza gave you a sheepish smile, gently dusting off the powdery snow from your head. "Sorry 'bout that..." Straightening himself he turned to face you properly, "Listen I-... I know you probably don't want me here or to talk to me but I needed to check up on Techno, I couldn't warn him fast enough about Quackity and didn't know if he was still-" Philza's face dropped as he spotted someone across the room who had apparently just woken up.  
"Y/n?" Tommy was rubbing away the sleep from his eye's, his hair a mess, and still half out of it. "Y/n, who are you talkin' to?"  
Your blood ran cold as shock spread up the back of your neck. Turning to see the hunched teen, you nibbled on your cheek before you rushed over to the sleepy boy. "Go back to bed Tommy..." You hushed, ushering him back to his room. "I'm just reading out loud to myself... Go on, shoo.." You blocked Tommy from going further into the house until he began to sway back into your old bedroom to sleep.  
You peered over your shoulder to look to Philza before stomping over to him with a finger in his face. "If you tell anyone he's here I will gut you." Your voice was gravely and came out like a growl that made the winged man before you put his hands up in surrender.  
"Okay, yup, not going to tell a soul."

  
You searched his eye's for any sign of a lie for a couple seconds before you leaned back, "Alright. Techno? Techno's fine. Took some healing potions and about a week for him to get up and moving again. And boy did he move.. He's off on a hunting trip, no idea where so don't ask. Is there anything else I can do for you?" You were completely done with having people show up to the cabin without invitation. Perhaps you needed to move again so people would stop finding you guys... Philza once again gave you a sheepish smile, "Uh well.. It's pretty cold out there and all... Would it be okay if I crashed here for the night? It's one hell of a fly from here to L'manburg."  
Looking the older man up and down you huffed. "Fine, I'll set up a cot for you. Here, keep the fire going." You leaned over before shoving an iron poker into Philza's hands. Fumbling with the item for a moment before grasping it firmly, the fatherly man gave you a quick nod before poking the flames in the fireplace back to life while you shuffled downstairs to retrieve the makeshift bedding.  
  
As you lifted the comforter you felt the sharpest pain in your back, causing you to gasp and double over in pain. "Fuck!" You yelped, hand flying to your back as you clawed at the skin in attempt to reach the pain in your spine. Philza, noticing your yelp of agony, poked his head down the ladder. "Y/n- oh shit! Are you okay?" Philza stumbled down the ladder, rushing to your side. You shook as the pain spread across your back like lightning. Blinding white hot pain. You couldn't hear anything as you clawed at your back, the sudden pain having knocked the air out of your lungs making you unable to scream. In your bewilderment you didn't hear Philza give a soft gasp as he realized what had happened.  
"Shit, I knew this would happen..." His palm came to rest exactly where the pain was in your upper back. As soon as his hands touched the spot the paint stopped. You let out a shuttering gasp of breath, inhaling deeply to let oxygen back into your burning lungs. "I should have come to you sooner or... Or warned you back then..." Philza gently pulled you up from the floor, letting you rest a hand on him for balance support.  
Your eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean, 'warned me back then'?" You gave Philza a worried look. He simply sighed and sat you across from him.  
  
"Y/n, do you know how I got these?" Gently, Philza's wings unfolded behind him. Stretching out to fill almost the entire length of the room. You had been pretty much raised by Philza but you never thought to ask. You just.. Assumed he always had them. Philza's wings slumped down the the ground, "You get wings when you.." A soft look of regret flashed across his features, his brown eye's refusing to meet yours for a moment. "When my wife, Sam, died I-.. I held her when she went." Tears brimmed at his eye's before he shook off the growing pain from remembering his spouses fate.  
"You see, there's an old folk tale, curse rather, that when someone you loved more than anything dies in your arms, a piece of you dies with them. This piece gives you angelic wings." To once again emphasize his wings, he gave them a little stretch. "It varies from place to place but almost every village I have ever been to has had some form of that legend. Some say it's when a soulmate dies in your arms, other say if anyone who has loved you dies in your arms you'll get them."  
  
Philza sighed as he watched you try and process the information. "It sounds ridiculous, I know but.. I wasn't always like this and it seems you're going through the same thing I did." He slowly stood as you got up yourself. "I believe you know when it may have.. Happened." Philza's face was covered with guilt. You shook your head, no.. No it wasn't Wilbur. When you got to Wilbur he was already dead. You felt sick as you realized the horrible truth of who had died in your arms. He had loved you, after everything he loved you.  
  
 _Schlatt._  
  
You wanted to cry and sob but you simply... Couldn't. You were numb at the thought, rather the memory, of Schlatt's last moments alive. So, after everything this was what his death left you with. A curse and a horrible ache in your heart. You had left L'manburg so you wouldn't have to ever think about it again but alas it seemed no matter how far you ran, your past caught you. You felt like you did back then in that moment you realized Schlatt and Wilbur were gone, lost and cold without direction on what to do next. But Philza was there at least, though you were upset with him you needed someone to help you again. You hated feeling weak like this again but sometimes you couldn't help it.  
So, with Philza setting up his makeshift bed in the living room you sat, letting waves of dull thudding pain claw at your shoulder blades. Philza convinced you to go to sleep yourself, nudging you towards the ladder to go up into Techno s room.  
Dragging your feet, you pulled yourself up and into the bedroom, flopping on your stomach onto the bed. Curling into the furs and blankets, you rested as much as you could.  
  
Why couldn't you escape your past.  
  



	5. Can You Feel My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Heavy angst :)))) attempted unalivement. 
> 
> Also because I couldn't find the perfect photo for this chapter I resorted to creating my own this time! So sorry if it's not the best but yknow :3
> 
> enjoy my horrible angst jhasdjhas

[Can you feel my heart?](https://open.spotify.com/track/1PInWkBARsxLyouDqa2GtF)

\---

You grimaced as you rolled over in the bed to feel the sunlight of another day pouring in from the windows. Groaning, you slid up the covers that kept out the chilly morning air in the house. Your back was sore and itchy. You couldn't even lay on your back without feeling something jabbing into your back. What dreams you did have were vague and bone chilling. More than once you woke up in cold sweats with a weight of someone resting their body weight on your shoulders only for the feeling to fade as you wiped the sweat that had pebbled down your face in your sleep. Safe to say, you didn't rest well.   
Apparently it was obvious too because once you went down stairs Tommy and Philza gave you a worried look.  
Before they could even express their concerns for your health you simply shooed them out of the way to the kitchen before you placed a pan onto the stove to start making breakfast, tying a small apron around your waist to keep off whatever might soil your night-clothes.  
  
With your back turned to the two boys, both could see the protruding and almost bone-ish build ups forming at your shoulder blades. Tommy whispered his concerns to Philza who shushed him before offering his assistance to you. Quietly, you nodded and handed him the reigns on making breakfast so you could work on the toast. It stayed like this for a month and slowly, more and more questions were asked from all parties in the home.   
Philza had decided it best to stay with you to help teach you proper care of your incoming wings and Tommy seemed to have put some puzzle pieces together after Philza explained how one got wings like that.  
  
You learnt that the formation of the wings takes a bit to manifest pending on the stress levels of one's life which is why it took you so long to have them start growing in. Sure it had been months since the whole Van scenario but you had basically been relaxing and keeping your mind off anything too gruesome for a good few months before Tommy showed up and you were dragged back into the whole L'manburg situation.  
Tommy seemed especially guilty after hearing this whenever you'd double over in pain to clutch at your back throughout the weeks. You did your best after the third time of nearly blinding hot pain to shove down any discomfort to save the boy from seeing you hurting.  
  
Philza also explained they'd grow pending on the severity of situations which made you quite worried as to why Philza's were so large... But to be fair, from what you remember of when you were young and lived with the boys... They did often get themselves in deep shit.

Apparently wing shapes and colors varied based on who the person was that died in your arms. Which seemed to be quite true as the fuzzy feather buds that began to pepper your spine were a dark brown that had small beginnings of an old familiar amber color that seemed to be the start of the wings color. The dark brown tips matched Schlatt's curls to a t while the warm amber of the rest of the feathers were either the amber of his eyes or his damn booze, you honestly couldn't tell.  
Day by day the feathers got longer and began to hide the lumps of whatever must have been the start of your wings.  
It hurt like hell. By the end of the month there were small patchy wings, no bigger than your hand but quite obviously little wings. Tommy would often try to poke or touch them but Philza would snatch his hand and reprimand him, reminding the teen that growing wings were already very painful without being touched by another person. You smiled softly as Tommy began to argue ferociously on why he would be careful not to ever hurt you purposely and that he just wanted to see what the feathers felt like.  
  
Finally one morning you had just finished cutting out little wing holes in one of your shirts when there was the sound of someone approaching. Your eye twitched to the front door as heavy footsteps clunked up the stairs to the porch. Wiping your hands off on your apron to rid your fingers of crumbs, you hurried to the door and prayed when you opened it you wouldn't see a bloody pink-haired idiot at your door.  
  
Thankfully, it was just a pink-haired idiot.  
  
You smiled in relief as Techno gave you his own tired smile from under his mask. A new scar was on his lip which made you tut before pulling him inside, ordering him to go sit by the fire to warm up. It had been more than a month since you saw Techno, it was more than a big relief to know he wasn't bleeding out somewhere again. Technoblade did a double take as he saw Philza (who had just finished flipping the eggs in the pan). Obviously, he didn't expect to see the blond here out of all places. Let alone alive while you were in the same room as him, Techno figured you'd strangle Philza at first sight with how you had expressed your dislike of the father-figure after the whole... Killing Wilbur thing. Accepting that something must have changed your mind, Techno let you push him to the fireplace that had just started to come back to life thanks to Tommy.  
  
Speaking of the teen, something was wrong with him. You gave him a once over as you passed him to return to your toast making, something in his eye's told you he had something on his mind. So, as he began to walk to the door you called out for him. "  
"Tommy, would you like to go for a walk today? It's been a while since we've gone anywhere together." Your offer stayed unanswered for a moment as Tommy stared at you for a solid 10 seconds in shock, his hand stuck mid reach for the door handle.  
  
"Uhm," He looked nervously to Techno, "Y... Yeah. Sure." Tommy's hand fell as he returned to his seat in the kitchen, watching as you placed the slices of bread next to the cooking eggs in the pan before passing him a slice of the untoasted bread to snack on.   
The way his eye's were getting darker told you more than you needed to know. He wasn't sleeping right. Something's keeping him up and it must be really frightful as he seemed to be thinking about it deeply as the slightest sound made him jump.  
Once breakfast was served and you made sure Techno wasn't hurt or in need of anything else from you, you slipped on your winter cloak and boots. Tommy found a old coat of yours to borrow in your room as he headed out with you to go for a walk along the snow banks.   
You smiled as you breathed in the sharp fresh air before turning to look at the lanky boy next to you, "Tommy, you've seen those weird stone towers that have just been appearing right? I wanted to go check em out, what do you think?"  
Tommy took a second to process that you had asked him a question before nodded and agreeing without bothering to ask you to repeat yourself despite not really knowing where you had just asked him to follow you to. "Yeah... Sure." His eye's glazed back over as he went back into his 'thinking' face. A frown tempted your lips into a small frown as you lead Tommy towards one of the largest constructs.  
  
You watched as Tommy seemed lost in his own world as you walked closer to the towering building. It must have been several stories high. You were curious as to how it was made, most of the villagers didn't seem to know how to make any sort of building taller than a two story house and this was... considerably bigger. Tugging on Tommy's sleeve to follow closely you found your way around the pillar of stone to find a way in. Sure enough, a small arch way lead into a hollow inside where its walls were covered with spiraling steps upward made of flat stones shoved into the walls.  
Blinking stupidly, Tommy realized where you were.

His hand snatched yours as he hissed, "We.. We should leave Y/n-" Without another word you began to tug him up the stairs, "Oh come on! You're not scared of heights right?" You smiled, blind to his panic for the first time in forever. You were just caught up in the curiosity of the building, your wings itched and something begged you inside to just go up there and see what would happen.  
Tommy's voice was caught in his throat as you trailed your way up to the top. After a few minutes you reached the peak of the massive tower. There wasn't much to consider a railing up there but you gave the world below a good look. The wind hit hard up here, almost shoving you back and forth with every gust.  
  
Tommy stared up at you from the stairs, not daring to actually step out. He knew what this tower was.  
  
He built it with Ghostbur, albeit, Ghostbur didn't get why he wanted to build this stone pillar. No one did. Especially not you. You seemed to enjoy the wind though, your small wings flexing from under your cloak. It felt nice up here. You cackled as you ran back to Tommy side on the stairs, "Alright, come on! Let's go back down.. I'll have to ask the villagers about this." Tommy's brain relaxed as you headed back down the steps, adrenaline still circling your mind from the feeling of the wind that tried its hardest to push you off the side.

  
Once you reached the bottom Tommy declared he'd like to go home which you obliged him in of course. While trudging back through the path you made you spotted a familiar specter in the distant tree's. Ghostbur waved to the two of you before looking towards Techno's house and sinking back into the woods with a bit of a panic.  
Looking to the house you spotted Philza stepping off the porch before waving at you. You returned the wave, noticing Tommy had been focusing on the snow in front of his feet. Nudging him, the boy jumped slightly. "Huh- what?" Tommy gave you a panicked look.  
You tutted, tugging his arm to loop with yours as you kept walking.  
"What's wrong, I noticed at breakfast you weren't doing too hot. Do you not want to stay here anymore? If so that's totally fine I can... I can help find you a spot to stay at." You tried to rationalize why he'd been so distant all day and why his eye's didn't seem to have the youthful spark they used to. Tommy sighed and shook his head, "Nothing for you to worry about." His arm unlooped with yours as he dashed off to get to the house first, leaving you to walk alone. Was it something you did?  
  
\---  
  
You spent the next few days indoors, Tommy refusing to go for any sort of walk with you by either politely declining with an excuse or by straight up ignoring you. It was rather concerning. Fearful that you did something wrong you doubled your efforts to care for him. An extra pancake in the mornings, more fresh fruit from the village and even an offer to buy him some new armor from the town blacksmith. The last offer he was tempted by, it was obvious that what armor he did have was old and all of the leather straps seemed already to be breaking.  
Despite the decay of his armor he declined, quickly stating he needed to go check on something in the woods before leaving you and Philza behind in the kitchens to talk about what could be the problem.  
Tommy's physical state didn't improve either, in fact it worsened. The bags under his eyes got deeper, he started to thin out again and would get up later and later until he was starting to emerge from his room well after noon. You worried about both his physical and mental state.  
  
One day when Tommy came back with scrapes along his arms and his armor half hanging of him you decided to follow him the next day when he ran out of the house to go to the woods. You waited but for a minute (mostly to tug on your collecting belt that consisted of some pouches, a dagger and small axe for collecting woodland herbs) before sneaking out after him, telling Techno and Philza you were simply going to town. You followed the teens footprints that lead into the pine and fir tree's of the nearby forest that Ghostbur often haunted. Slipping between the trunks you followed his reckless pace, more than once it seemed he tripped over roots or fell into hidden banks. The trail was obviously one of panic. You wondered if he was running from something or to something.  
  
Following the trail lead you to a clearing near a familiar tower. It's the one Tommy seemed to be so concerned about when you had visited only days prior but the distant silhouette of him standing on the roof of the monstrous building caught you off guard. While your gaze lifted upward you noticed the forming grey clouds that sent down tiny droplets of water begin to fall. The first few droplets were small enough to barely make you flinch but as you approached the base of the tower the sprinkle soon began to pick up, larger droplets began to fall as clouds overhead swirled while thunder began to roll in from somewhere out beyond the land and out in the torrid waters of the ocean.  
Your climb upwards began rushed as you felt the howling winds pierce through cracks in the stone,. The question the integrity of this building beginning to creep into the back of your mind, spurring you further up the steps as you called out against the roaring storm above for Tommy to come down. He seemed to not hear you.   
  
Not even when you finally breached the top and the wind nearly knocked you down did he notice you. Tommy's shoes inched closer to the edge and his shoulders rose and fell rapidly as his breath seemed to be quickening. Tugging your cloak against your self, you stumbled closer all while trying to not fall off the top of the tower from the force of the gusts of wind. This proved even more difficult mixed with the fact the stones you walked on were now drenched with rain, making every other step you take nearly slip. Finally you were about four feet from him when you opened your mouth to call out to him before he turned sharply on his heels, eye's screwed tight against the roaring winds that pelted him with rain, his arms outstretched next to him as he took a small step back until his heels were on the edge of the towers edge.  
  
Your voice caught in your throat as you approached. What was he doing?  
  
You felt a bracing wind hit your back, shoving you forward a few inches just from the impact. You curled inward, keeping a palm-digging grip on your cloak as your hair whipped infront of your face. You looked up to see Tommy leaning back, his eye's slowly opening to look to the sky. But they seemed to have also caught the sight of you as his shoulders fell far back following the rest of him.  
  
You screamed.

  
Not even thinking twice you tore your cape off of your shoulders and let it be flicked away into the sky before you dove after him, your small wings pitifully flattening backwards as your world became a whirling grey. You reached out your hand, willing yourself down after the blond who you saw bellow you. Your eyes stung with the wind or with tears, you couldn't tell. Tommy flailed bellow you, "Y/n-" His voice was nearly drowned out by the rushing wind. Your cheeks felt like they were being whipped with a thousand grains of sand as you strained your shoulders forward, causing a searing pain in your shoulder blades as you reached for the teen.   
You felt yourself plummet faster, you became heavier and Tommy's eye's were wide behind his flailing limbs. You could see the ground approaching, you needed to get to him _now_.  
  
"Tommy!" You screamed, his wide and frozen eye's locking with yours as you forced and willed yourself to extend your hand out to him. He seemed to take a gasping breath before a firm slap of his hand gripping yours. You laughed in relief as you yanked him up to you, your arms enveloping him. If this was your fates, so be it. At least you were together. You closed your eyes as you felt Tommy's arms cling around your neck before he screamed into your ear...  
  
  
"Spread your wings!"  
  
  


A thunderous roar echoed as light flashed and your eyes opened to see the ground not far below. Your wings? Fuck it, why not even if they're small, they could help. You spread them open with a snap and it was like a parachute had caught you.  
You lurched backwards, nearly jostling Tommy from your bear hugging grip before you were sent into a violent tumble into the ground, your arms pulling in Tommy to try and protect him... Along with something else enclosing the two of you. You could still feel the pain as you thudded down a rocky hill at a still-slightly-too-fast speed but it wasn't your arms.

Your world was pitch black when you finally came to a stop, you were pretty sure you were dead. Thankfully, Tommy's ragged breathing told you the opposite. Slowly, you relaxed your arms which in turn seemed to reveal you both back into the downpour of the storm. Slowly you realized the blackness that had enveloped you wasn't you passing out or something, it was your wings.  
They definitely weren't quite Philza size but.... They were shockingly larger than they once had been. They rested next to you as you knelt in front of a panting Tommy. The deep majority of your wings were a deep amber color, seeming becoming black at the tips and base of the wings and a few individual feathers.  
You slowly looked up to Tommy once you caught your breath, he was shaking horribly with his knees curled into his chest. He barely made eye contact with you.  
  
"What..." You shuddered, glancing back up at the towers. "What the... Hell... Man..." Managing to get your words in between pants, you lifted your wings above the two of you to act as an umbrella as you pulled the shivering boy into your arms once again before he began to sob into your arms. "You silly boy, what were you thinking!?" You softly scolded, your own warm tears trailing down your cheeks to mix with the raindrops. Slews of 'I'm sorry's left Tommy's mouth as you rubbed circles into his back. You stayed like that, cold and soaked to the bones, wailing into each others shoulders until there weren't any more bones that needed to shake or tears to shed. Your nose and finger tips had gone numb in the cold and you were sure Tommy was just as frozen as you were.  
"Why did you do that?" You whispered, pulling back to hold his face in your hands. His eyes red and puffy as he shook his head. "I-... I didn't... Want to..." Tommy took stuttering breaths, trying to find words to explain himself to you. "He told... He said..."  
Your eyebrows furrowed at the mentions of a 'he'.  
  
"Tommy, who said... Who said." You tried to pull everything back in. Your emotions, your worries. If someone was threatening Tommy to this point, you had to know who it was so you could personally gut them. Tommy's eye's filled with fear as he shook his head, "He said he'd hurt you if I told you... He said he'd hurt all of you-" Tommy's voice became panicked, trying to pull away from you. Your wings lowered to lightly hold him. "Tommy, you know me and Techno. We'd never get hurt. Who is it." Your voice became cold, demanding even as you took one last sniffle.  
  
Tommy slouched into the wings, his hands coming up to rub at his already irritated eye's.

  
  
" _Dream_."


	6. Aries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KASJdhS SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE! I didn't realize how long it had been since I updated! Anywho please enjoy!  
> Also i just got my 6 inch schlatt plushie im c r y i n g

  
  
[I'm standing on a beach in the distance](https://open.spotify.com/track/2haIfONRw1Bhi2zSp67MYU)  
[And even though you're far away, can you see my red light?](https://open.spotify.com/track/2haIfONRw1Bhi2zSp67MYU)  
[It's waiting to turn green](https://open.spotify.com/track/2haIfONRw1Bhi2zSp67MYU)  
['Cause I feel so isolated without you](https://open.spotify.com/track/2haIfONRw1Bhi2zSp67MYU)  
[I can't play a happy tune on my own, so stay by my side](https://open.spotify.com/track/2haIfONRw1Bhi2zSp67MYU)

\---

The walk back home with Tommy was everything but dry.   
Tears mixed with rain as Tommy lung to your arm, slouched as to let your wing give him cover from the rain that turned the snow on the ground into slush. The wind ruffled your feathers while the thought of Dream lingered in your mind. You had to do something about it of course but what? Logically it'd take you being in full Netherite and have Bertha to even think about taking dream down for good. Your face must have been contorted into a scowl because Tommy softly asked you what you were thinking in a very nervous tone.   
You blinked, relaxing your jaw (which you didn't realized was painfully clenched) as you looked up with a quiet 'huh?' before processing that Tommy asked you something. "O-oh, just..." You sighed, flicking your wings free of water for a moment, "Dream. Why didn't you tell us he was talking to you?"   
  
Tommy frowned, "He... He said you..." Tommy bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of what to say. "He said you would leave again."   
You blinked stupidly at him before gently smacking his arm, "You idiot! I wouldn't leave you again! Especially not with him walkin' around and bullying you!" Your wings puffed up as you tugged Tommy along faster. "You of all people should know this Tommy, you and Tubbo mean the world to me-"   
A shriek echoed from the woods. You furrowed your eyebrows, narrowing your sight to peak between downpour of water to see a rapidly shifting figure in between the tree trunks. Tommy froze, letting go of your arm.   
  
"Ghostbur." Tommy murmured. A gasp ripped from your lungs as you bolted to the woods, dragging Tommy along side you as you dashed to find the specter.   
  
Sure enough, hiding under a long with his limbs curled tightly inwards was Ghostbur, trembling just as much as Tommy had been with his hand sizzling and black thick tears streaming down his face. Your wings stretched to completely overshadow his hiding spot. The ghost gasped, watery eyes opening to look up at you.   
" **Yellow**?" Ghostbur inspected the growths from your back. " **You have....Wings? Are you an angel? Oh no! Did you die?!** " Ghostbur climbed out from under his damp log to gently brush a translucent hand through the feathers of your wings.   
You smiled softly, "No, I'm very much alive 'Bur. Come on, what are you doing out here?" Using your free hand to take Ghostbur's you lead him back to the path you and Tommy had been walking to get back home, your wings of course now sheltering both boys from the storm.   
  
With Tommy still clinging to your arm and Wilbur holding your other hand, you guided them back home. The rain pelted your wings but you payed no mind, rather focusing on Ghostbur's shady side eye he'd give the forest as he struggled to find words.  
You felt his cold fingers wriggle in your grasp until they stopped and gave your hand a soft squeeze.   
" **Oh, I was um...** " He gave the forest another glance before looking to you, " **Uh.. Picking flowers? Yeah! To uh, make more Blue.** " He was.....Obviously lying. But you figured it might have been something personal or a surprise for someone so you chose not to press for a more truthful answer. Instead, you enjoyed the company of the boys until you finally reached Techno's house and came to an impasse.   
  
What would Philza think of Ghostbur?

You held your breath as you tried to gauge how good of an idea this would be. Philza did kill Wilbur, would Ghostbur remember that? Probably not as he hasn't mentioned remembering how he died... But how would Philza react? But you couldn't just leave Ghostbur outside in the rain...   
Inhaling sharply you opened the front door, letting your wings fall back as you nudged Tommy and Wilbur in first so you could protect their backs from the rain. The two shuffled inside the dry home, enjoying the wave of warmth that washed over the room from the fireplace.   
  
Philza called up from the basement, "Y/n? That you? Techno went out while you and Tom were gone, said he needed to finish up a building he was making!"   
  
Shaking the last bit of rainwater off your wings outside, you shut the door and replied with of 'who else'. Tommy seemed to finally realize why you had paused before entering the house... Tommy's eyes locked with yours before his eyes bounced from the basement ladder to Ghostbur to you.   
"Oh God, Y/n what are we gonna do!?" Tommy whispered to you furiously, hands grabbing at his hair while Ghostbur simply floated over to the fire to watch the flames, none the wiser to the chaos and panic behind him.   
Seeing Tommy panic made you panic in turn, mirroring the teen your own hands found strands of your hair as you tried to figure out what was going to happen.   
"I mean, at some point they were going to have to meet!" You whispered back, motioning between where Philza was and the ghost in your living room.   
  
"Everything alright up there? You're both oddly quiet-" Philza's head popped up from the hatch, looking up at the two of you (his eyebrows raising at the sight of your newly enlarged wings) before scanning the living room until he froze in place.His eyes went wide before looking to you for answers. Your mouth flapped open and closed, "I-er-uh-" you and Tommy made a chorus of stuttering words, each one less comprehensible than the last until Philza climbed up all the way to simply stand and stare at Ghostbur. You snapped your mouth shut as Ghostbur turned to look curiously at Phil.   
Ghostbur's eye's brimmed with those inky black tears once again, " **....Dad?** "  
  
The whole situation was... Emotional to say the least, Phil had simply strode forward and embraced the ghost of his son with tears streaming down his face. Ghostbur hugged him back, crying just as hard as his father. Meanwhile, you and Tommy stood uncomfortably as you watched the whole thing. At least Phil wasn't angry with you two.   
Philza shuddered in his sons arms, "I'm... So sorry 'Bur. I'm so sorry." His voice was muffled behind quiet sobs.   
You felt yourself tear up a bit before you scrubbed away any forming tears in your eye's. Ghostbur gave him a confused pat, " **What for? You didn't do anything wrong Phil...** " Philza pulled back to give Ghostbur a puzzled stare. You gasped, sht Philza didn't know Ghostbur didn't remember. 

You swiftly walked over to the two men, leaning in to whisper to Philza about Ghostbur's memory situation. Philza stared at you blankly for a moment before turning to look back at his son with a soft smile. "Nothing- Its..." Philza dropped his arms, gently holding his sons arms. "I'm... I'm so happy to see you again, 'Bur."   
Ghostbur's smile returned, "I'm happy to see you too! Come on, sit with me and tell me about what you've been up to! Also," Ghostbur pointed to your wings, "Please explain to me why she also has wings like you...."   
Philza nodded, "Of course son."   
  
  
Tommy turned to look at you, "So uh... About... The tower, can we not mention that to anyone?" Tommy's feet shuffled as his eye's locked on the floor.   
You raised a gentle hand to his shoulder and gave him a little nod. "Only if you promise to come to me next time you feel like that. We can talk later about Dream?" Tommy's eye's, though tired, seemed relieved to hear you wouldn't tell anyone.   
"Y... Yeah, alright." Tommy shuffled his way over to the fireplace, sitting across from Ghostbur as he tuned into Philza beginning to explain how the whole Wings thing works.

\---  
  
  
After Philza explained how you got your wings Ghostbur seemed to be... Upset. Not angry or sad but just... Off. The way he looked at you was somewhat the same but he'd look away from you quicker, frowning to himself before turning to go talk with someone else.  
Your mind wandered as the three talked amongst themselves. Tommy explaining to Phil about how he met Ghostbur while Philza nodded along, asking a few questions here and there. Your eye's lingered on the doorway, you needed Techno. You needed someone more than just a ghost or Philza to confide in right now. You were concerned about having Dream know that Tommy was with you and needed to have someone you trusted to keep you perfectly safe in the house. Not to say Philza wouldn't protect you but... There was a certain kind of security Techno gave you that the others didn't.   
  
You wondered when he'd be back for about an hour until it turned out your question was about to be answered rather soon.  
  
Around midnight, footsteps approached the porch making you jump to your feet in fear that maybe it was Dream or something- but the door creaked open to show a familiar but soot covered Technoblade. The room fell silent as he closed the door behind him and shrugged off his soaked cloak.  
A relief of knowing he was home and safe washed over you.

Techno's tusks peaked from under his mask as he smiled to you, "Hello." Within two strides he made it over to where you sat on the cushioned bench, tiredly plopping down next to you to lean on your shoulder. You felt a weight leave your shoulders at the contact.  
Finally, you had someone else to help you out with the whole 'Dream is back and manipulating Tommy' thing, a lazy smile graced itself on your features as you leaned back into Techno. Philza and Ghostbur gave Techno a wave or two, greeting him happily before returning to their conversation while Tommy snoozed next to Philza on the floor. Soon you felt hands gently touch the tops of your wings, fingers dancing curiously along the edges of feathers.  
"What happened to these? Only this morning you had baby feathers..." Techno mumbled as he played with a few of the smaller feathers. The smile fell from your face fell before you bit your lip. "I can.. Explain later. It's a bit of a serious topic and I'd prefer to talk about it in private.."  
  
"Huh..." Techno inspected your wings for the rest of the night, opting to keep an arm around you to let his hand rest (and pet) your wings. Soon Philza announced he was going to bed and Ghostbur drifted off into his own sort of sleep next to Tommy... Though you couldn't really tell if he was really sleeping, after all he was a ghost. Leaning into Techno to rest your head on his shoulder (which, due to height differences let you lean more on his chest) you stared into the slowly dying fire.   
  
"Phil said you went out to finish a building? I didn't know you were working on something." You mumbled, Techno gave a tired sigh and nodded as he stroked his hands through your wings for the hundredth time that night.   
"Yeah, I uh... I'm gonna show it to Tommy tomorrow." His voice seemed to get more serious but the mention of the teen brought your thoughts back to what had conspired earlier on the tower. Noticing your sudden mood shift, Techno rubbed you arm comfortingly, "What's up?"   
  
"It's... about my wings." You slightly flexed the muscles in your new appendages. "I..." You eye's glossed over as you began to remember details about the tower as you gazed down on the slumbering Tommy.   
The air in your ears. The tears. The panic. The feeling like your heart was about to combust from fear and adrenaline. The free fall.   
"Philza said... They grew with stress... Right? What-" Techno sucked in a breath, following your gaze only to see it landed on Tommy. "What happened."   
  
Your body felt heavy, you did say you wouldn't say anything... You chewed on your lip, "I... Lets get the kid to bed." You moved out of Techno's embrace, crouching over the slumbering Tommy. Gently working your arms under his shoulders and legs you lifted him up. He was surprisingly lighter than you expected or hoped, you made a mental note to make sure he was eating his meals. Techno chuckled softly at the awkward sight of you carrying the 6'2'' boy.   
You decided to simply put him in your old room again, after all he's pretty much stayed there since he's shown up.   
After securely tucking him under layers of wool blankets you entered the living room to find Techno heading up to his room.   
  
"Come on." He whispered, motioning for you to follow before he continued on up. You complied and followed in toe.   
  
Once you had reached the top, Techno was already changing his soaked white button up for a simple night shirt. Your eye's screwed tight as you saw him begin to lift his shirt. "God, you could at least go behind the screen. I have it for a reason..." You blindly pointed to a folded wooden partisan screen.  
Techno's laugh warmed your heart, "Sorry, I figured we'd lived together for about four or five months and you've already patched me up. Didn't think you'd care." Techno's voice moved around the room, the sound of unfolding wood, and more rustling of clothes.   
  
"Alright I'm behind the screen, you can open your eye's."   
  
You peaked open one eye to confirm he actually was. Bless the heavens, he was. You sighed in annoyance, "Well just cause I've patched you up doesn't mean I wanna see it outside of medical situations..."   
Finally Techno emerged in his usual sleepwear, a shirt and loose pants. Though, he took off his mask.  
You snatched your own nightgown and waited for him to crawl into bed before you yourself shuffled behind the screen to change. You smiled down at the lilac gown, it was one of your favorites.   
You crawled onto your side of the bed, curling up under the warm furs Techno used as blankets. Your wings draped off the side of the mattress, making them strain awkwardly until you had to sort of squish them against yourself. As you laid on your right side you found that, while the right wing was tucked nicely to your body your left wing couldn't comfortably relax against you. Finally after many minutes of shifting your position you heard Techno sigh.   
  
"You can lay your wing on me, I don't mind."   
  
You jumped at the sound of Techno's monotone voice. Opening your eyes you saw he had is arms open to you. It's not like you haven't cuddled with Techno before but something about this time felt different. You were tired, exauhsted from the emotional drain of the day. You shuffled into his arms, your left wing that seemed to not be able to find a comfortable position sliding over Techno to finally rest, covering and holding him closer to you so that now you were properly tucked into his arms.   
Techno slid a strong arm under your head, letting you use it as a pillow while the other rested around your waist and under your wing.   
  
The close proximity let you hear hear the faint thumping of Techno's heart, easing your mind with every faint 'bump-ba-bump'. You felt safe, nothing could hurt you anymore. Nothing could scare you.  
  
"So... What happened, you haven't been like this since we left L'manburg." Techno mumbled over your head, his chin resting on your forehead. You stared into the darkness for a moment before a sigh left your lips.   
"Dream's found Tommy. He was manipulating him. Hurting him. Tommy tried to-" Your throat clenched, you couldn't say it. You didn't even want to think about what he tried to do. Techno seemed to catch the drift as he glanced down to see the dread that was painted across your face.  
You felt your face warm up as Techno kissed your hairline softly, "I see. I'm... Sorry I wasn't there for you."   
  
Something in you must have broke because you gently shook in his arms in that moment. Tears threatening to spill while you hid further into the shelter that was Technos's chest. "It's okay... You're here now..." You mumbled softly, trying your best to look for the light in the situation. Gentle circles were drawn on your lower back by Techno's hand, easing whatever tension you held in your body slowly as the rhythmic patterns drowned out any other thought.   
You both stayed silent until you both fell asleep, entangled in each others embrace.

\---

The next day you were hesitant to get up but the knowledge that Tommy probably needed a meal pushed you out of bed. Techno stayed asleep though, obviously wiped from building whatever the heck he was working on yesterday and staying up so late with you. You felt a bit guilty, having dumped that information on him. But he needed to know that Tommy was in danger, more than ever now that Dream had absolutely found him. Your mind was lost in thought as you watched the eggs on the stove cook, sizzling at the edges until you snapped out of it and flipped them.  
  
By the time you had finished making toast Tommy was up, rubbing at the dark circles under his eye's. He looked like he didn't get much sleep... You slid the fresh plate of eggs and toast to him, slicing some strawberries before plopping them on his plate aswell.   
He slowly munched on the food, taking his time to eat while you cooked up everyone else breakfast. "So." You glanced at him after you finished making the last egg for Techno's plate. "Dream."   
Tommy nearly choked on his egg, looking up at you with fearful eyes. "Uh, wh..what about him?" He nervously asked, fidgeting in his seat.   
  
"I'm gonna take care of him. Tell me, when do you usually meet up?" You turned to the chest by the doorway, fetching your belt that had your sword and gathering pouches on it before slipping it on. Tommy took another bite of egg before answering softly, "Uh, usually every other day... So, I'll be meeting with him today. You gave him a confident nod.

  
"Alright then, whenever you're ready." 

\---  
  


Around noon Tommy told you he was going to go so you threw on your cloak and boots, making sure your sword was sharp and that you had some back up weapons in your gathering pouches. Namely a dagger and a somewhat dull handaxe you used to cut small vines or roots from plants for potions. Meanwhile tommy put on whatever he could of his worn down armor Most of the metal having been scuffed or slashed until any sort of shine was dulled. You smiled as once again you had to pull Tommy over to fix his fastenings for him.   
As you left with Tommy Techno threw you an odd look before seeing a determined glint in your eye.   
He nodded and continued his lunch-time reading.   
  
Tommy led you to the forest before turning to face you. "Okay just.. Follow at a distance, okay? Don't.. You could get the jump on him. Okay?" As Tommy turned to walk into the forest you caught his arm, "Before you go... Take this." You handed him your dagger.   
"If something bad happens I want you to get out of there safely, keep this on you." you pulled his hand over to take the hilt, covering his hands with your own so his fingers curled over the wrapped leather. Tommy gave you an uncertain nod before placing it on his belt. Thus began the trek through the forest, you following at a decent distance while Tommy lead you through winding snow covered paths.  
  
As you watched you noticed that what once was dense forest soon thinned out farther on and that the red shirt that you had been tracking seemed to have dropped down and out of view. Panicking, you picked up your pace until it was a full sprint.

Finally you breached to the other side of the woods, the air in your lungs by now feeling like ice stabbing into your chest as the woods seemed to just stop and drop for a few feet onto black sand. The curve down was gradual and revealed roots of the forest's tree's that were nearest to the beach. You spotted, not far down the oddly colored beach Tommy's form, knelt down before another person. A hooded person.   
You slunk behind a tree, curling around it as you peaked one eye out from behind the bark to watch as Tommy was kicked in the side and sent rolling closer to the sea foam of the lapping waves.  
You knew who the assaulter was. He had searched your whole house for this boy.  
  
Dream.

There was shouting and something was torn off his arms, his pauldron apparently as the metal shimmered in the air as it was flung into the crashing waves not far off the shore. You swore softly under your breath, your hand firmly grasping the hilt of your sword as you fluttered from tree trunk to tree trunk to sneak closer to the two males who were too caught up in whatever conversion they were having to notice when you stumbled on the roots of trees or shuffled a bit too loudly in the melting snow.  


"You think they still care about you?" Dream laughed, "Take it from a friend Tommy, I'm the only friend you got left. Now, what else did she give you?" The masked man bent over, hands shoving into Tommy's pockets to feel for anything more he had on him.  
You could have sworn you heard your little axe sing as you threw it right past Dreams head only for it to sink into the damp sand behind him, waves already lapping at it's blunt blade. Dream jolted upright as the soft 'shink' of the weapon sinking into the sand alerted to a potential danger. But before he could even look towards where he figured the projectile came from you were already bearing down on him with a vengeful roar, sword drawn as you tackled him.  
Falling backwards with the weight you threw on him, Dreams hands tried to reach for his own weapon on his belt but you sunk your blade into his shoulder causing him to shout in agony, the hand that once reached for the hilt of his sword coming up to try and un-wedge your blade from his body.  
  
"Don't. Ever. Touch. My. Boy. Again!" Your words were punctuated with your fists colliding with the white smiley mask as you straddled his torso to prevent him from getting up. The cracking of the wood mask satisfied you as you screamed louder, "You ever come near him again I'll destroy you!" Tears poured from your eye's as your vision went red.  
Sand kicked up to your right as Tommy scrambled backwards and onto his feet, watching as you repeatedly clobbered the masked man, not even caring as your sleeves became slightly stained with the blood from Dreams shoulder until the teen couldn't stand to see you in such a rage.  
Leaning over he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you off the wheezing Dream who immediately took a deep inhale as your weight was lifted from him. Finally, Dream managed to grasp your swords blade and yank it out, casting the bloodied weapon to the side as he cradled the deep cut.  
Your legs kicked and your wings flapped violently as Tommy pulled you back, your arms still trying to swing and hit the slightly cracked mask before you. You could practically feel Dream's gaze burn a hole into your skull as you snarled, shouts and threats pouring from your lips of the most vulgar and violent sense.  
  
Unsure on if you'd fulfill those threats, Dream scooted a bit away from you before standing. Seeing him take a step forward, you shot up, pulling Tommy behind you. Your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath as you shot back a glare just as burning as Dreams. The tension stayed for what felt like hours but were simply seconds. You couldn't tell if it was blood or the sound of the waves crashing that filled your ears but either way it was all you could hear before Dream finally staggered backwards, clutching his profusely bleeding shoulder before turning and walking away.  
  
You watched him retreat to a boat, casting one last look to you two before shoving off and heading out across the waters. Once his boat began to shrink into the horizon you turned and pulled a startled Tommy into your arms.  
A sigh left Tommy as his shoulders slumped. Your wings curled around him, emphasizing the hug.   
"I'm sorry you've had to deal with that on your own, no wonder you look like you've been through hell all the time..." You mumbled, trying to calm your heart from it's adrenaline rush.  
  
Tommy hid his face in your shoulder, "Thank you." 


	7. Misguided Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter! I'm trying really hard to catch up on SMP lore so... akjdhsa you'll have to forgive me for not updating this as frequent as I used to.

[Misguided ghosts](https://open.spotify.com/track/7m3mf1vU7CZHhwXcxAX7zk)   
[Traveling endlessly](https://open.spotify.com/track/7m3mf1vU7CZHhwXcxAX7zk)   
[The ones we trusted the most](https://open.spotify.com/track/7m3mf1vU7CZHhwXcxAX7zk)   
[Pushed us far away](https://open.spotify.com/track/7m3mf1vU7CZHhwXcxAX7zk)

\---

After retrieving your blade from the sand and your axe from the lapping waves of the ocean you let Tommy guide you back home, his face lightly scratched up from whatever Dream had done to him before you swooped in to kick some ass. Silently you stood by each-other, no need for words as your previous actions said it all. You were still there for Tommy after all this time and nothing would change that. Hand in hand, you walked back inside to find Techno talking to Philza about the winged blond leaving and returning to L'manburg.  
Tommy leaned on a kitchen counter, tilting his head as he listened in with you.  
  
"-time for me to go back. Y/n will be fine now that the wings have pretty much fully developed, I just wanted to over see them to make sure nothing went wrong with the process like... Mites or something." Philza slowly stood, fixing the hat on his head securely. Technoblade let out a soft sigh at the sight of his friend preparing to leave.  
"If that's what you wanna do Phil, I wont stop you but be careful with those Butchers. They won't be happy you left house arrest." Techno reached under his mask to rub at his eye's, giving you a tired look as he realized you were finally back. He gave a quizzical look to your sword before finding Tommy leaning on the counters.   
  
"Hey Tommy. Come with me, I need to show you something from my uh," Techno glanced to you then back at the teen boy, "Hunting trip."  
Tommy nodded, eye's glancing to you, "Can Y/n come? I want to have her there to help tell the story of what just happened down at the beach." Tommy motioned with his thumb over his shoulder to the direction of the woods, earning a confused look from Philza. Techno froze, stuttering before Philza spoke up.  
"What... Did happen, is that blood on your sword Y/n?" Philza stepped towards you, eyeing your blade warily, unsure who or whats blood was dripping slightly from its tip.  
You hummed and held it up, "Yup, don't worry I simply stabbed someone who deserved it." You sent Techno a smug smile only to see his golden eyes widen under the rosy pink of his mask as he realized what you meant. Shaking his head in faux disappointment, Techno leaned back in his chair.  
  
"And here I was thinking you were out of the bodyguard business." Techno chuckled.  
  
Philza gave a confused passing glance between the two of you, not quite getting the gist of what happened before he simply shuffled out the door saying some soft 'goodbyes' to each of you. You watched as he gave one powerful flap of his wings before soaring off over the tops of the hills and distant tree's. You wondered how long it would take for you to fly to L'manburg like him.  
Your thoughts were pulled back to the present as Techno stood and retrieved his cloak, clasping the front together before stepping outside himself.  
"Come along then." He called back as he lead you and Tommy through the melting snow.  
  
You kept pace with Techno's long strides, Tommy simply walking in your snow path to avoid unwanted exertion. Techno shyly peered down at you to start a conversation but the white fur of his cloak mostly obscured his view of you leading him to only see your head bobbing in and out of view over the fuzz.  
"So, what happened at the beach?" Techno's hand came up to flatten down the fur of his cape in attempt to see you. You took another big step to keep up with his relentless pace before taking in a deep breath,  
"Turned out," You grunted as you shoved more snow out of your path, "Dream has been beating and stealing stuff from Tommy. So, I did what any logical guardian would do and beat the shit out of the man." You smirked with a little glance over your shoulder to Tommy who sighed.  
"Yeah, but I had to yank you off of him!" Tommy commented as he quickened his pace to be closer to the conversation. "She definitely broke his nose."  
  
Techno stopped walking for a second before continuing, "Then... Why did your sword have blood on it?"  
You snorted, "How do you think I beat him up? Had to pin the bastard." Techno gave this a very surprised reaction, his eyebrows raised and mouth slightly agape. Tommy patted his shoulder, "I'll tell you, don't get into a fight with this one. She's a beast when she gets mad."  
The quick nod from Techno told you he was definitely taking notes on more reasons not to piss you off. You simply shook your head, to be honest you left the whole 'fight with Dream' thing up to luck. You were lucky you caught him off guard and lucky he didn't have any extra small weapons on him to stab you with.  
  
You all sloshed your way through some small hill valleys as you approached the side of a large cliff. Techno lead you to the face of the tall flat rock, the grey slate staggering down like scales on a fish as you gazed up and up and up. The cliff seemed to be insanely high from this perspective.  
Steam puffed from under Technoblade's mask, making him truly look like a wild animal as he lumbered over to a pile of snow before dusting it away to reveal a lever.  
  
"You see this wall, Tommy?" Techno asked over his shoulder. You gave Tommy a confused look, the way Techno spoke made you get shivers up your spine. It was reminiscent of the tone he once used at the end of the war. Stepping forward to peak closer at the leaver Techno had revealed,  
"Well. Yeah." Tommy motioned to the very obvious rock surface.  
Techno stepped away from the leaver with a smirk, "Be my guest Tommy." Techno walked calmly to your side, placing his hands on his hips as he watched and waited for Tommy to activate the wooden lever.  
Tommy looked to you for a moment nervously but you only shrugged, you had no idea what Techno was doing... But whatever it was, you were only a little concerned.  
  
Smacking his lips a bit Tommy spoke up, "Will I die if I do this?" He eyed the towering man cautiously. You could practically hear Techno roll his eye's at the question.  
"No, you will not die. What was the point of that? I would have stabbed you a while ago." Techno teased, "Plus I can't since Y/n's here."  
You snorted and elbowed Techno.  
  
Tommy gripped the handle of the lever, yanking it back only to hear the sudden clanking and grinding of gears. Your eyebrows furrowed as before you the Sheetrock began to tremble and sink away into the ground, leaving small puffs of dust and pebbles falling from the top bit of a slowly revealing cave opening.  
You and Tommy felt your knees tremble and your stomachs sink as you realized what decorated the walls of this hidden cavern.  
  
Rows upon rows of charcoal black skulls, Wither skulls to be exact, lined every inch of the stone walls. Tommy gave a... Shocked yell, hands grabbing at his hair as he took in the sight before him. You stepped backwards, "What the hell-"  
Techno's cape billowed behind him as he strode into the mouth of the cave, turning on his heels to show off his creation.  
  
  
" _Welcome home Thesus._ "

  
You nearly fell over from the shock of the whole ordeal, so that's why his hunting trip took so long... He was hunting in the Nether. Tommy stumbled forward, eye's not knowing where to look as he trotted through the hall of what seemed to be at least one hundred Wither skulls all peering at him.   
At the end of the tunnel was a single armor stand with full enchanted Netherite that seemed to be tailor fitted for Tommy as it wasn't big enough for Techno nor short enough for you. Your eye's locked onto Techno's, your gaze held all the confusion and worry that crossed your mind but Techno's eyes held a fire and passion you knew all too well.   
  
He was planning something. You didn't know what but you were sure it would lead to something close to war.   
  
You let out a shaking breath as you tried to steady your mind, "What is the meaning of this?" You demanded an explanation, why was all of this necessary, "I thought we were in retirement, Techno." You frowned at the walls that were covered with skulls, eyes drifting from one row to another. They seemed endless.   
Techno chuckled, "We are... Were, I should say." there was a smile on Techno that was not of his own. It was wicked, his eyes were filled to the brim with blood lust. "They came for us, Y/n. The Butchers came for me and failed. _They_ are making me come out of retirement." Techno approached your frozen form, placing a large, firm hand on your shoulder.   
"And maybe you don't want to come out of retirement. But," He lifted his hand to motion to Tommy. "We're going to get him those disks back." 

You... Didn't know what to think. You simply stared stupidly at the walls that were adorned with far too many skulls before you tuned back into the world, realizing that Techno and Tommy were talking. You looked sharply to Tommy, "Did you know he was planning this." The teen jumped, stopping mid sentence before turning to look at you worriedly. "I... To an extent, yes. I didn't-I didn't think he'd go this far."   
"Tommy why.... Why didn't you just ask me to help you, you know I would have-" You felt your throat tighten before casting a downward glance as you put a puzzle piece together, "Dream?"   
  
The blond gave you a slow and unsure nod. Sighing you stepped away, "Whatever you two have planned I..." you could barely even stand to look at the multitude of slack-jawed skulls, "I think Tommy and I can agree to try and not disturb L'manburg as much as we can. I don't want to hurt-" "Tubbo." Tommy nodded, finishing your sentence, "I don't want him upset or hurt either."   
You smiled softly at Tommy, of course he of all people would be just as worried about Tubbo as you were. Techno on the other hand merely shrugged, "Eh, we'll talk about the finer details later. Here, come try on this armor." With giant strides Techno lead Tommy to the armor stand and offered him it's helmet.   
  
You sighed, walking away from the scene silently. You just didn't want anyone to get hurt anymore.  
  
\---  
  
Wandering seemed to get your mind off things, the sloshing of partially melted snow the only other noise aside from the distant creaking of trees. Once you reached the cabin you found Ghostbur sitting on the steps to the porch, seemingly in deep thought before he looked up and spotted you. A smile spread across his features as you stopped a few feet from him, "Hello Ghostbur, what are you doing out here? Aren't you worried it... Might rain again or something?"   
Ghostbur shook his head and floated quickly up to you, a hand outstretched, " **Not at all, in fact I was waiting for you to get back!** "   
Curious as to why he seemed to excited you gingerly took his hand into yours. His fingers curled around yours as he began to float along the path that lead to the woods.   
" **I have something to show you Yellow! It's a gift, I had found it back in Logstedshire and hid it because I didn't want Dream to destroy it with all of Tommy's other things. I brought it to the woods because I figured Dream wouldn't find it but I... I think it used to be yours?** "   
  
Your eyebrows furrowed as you kept pace with the ghost you felt a nagging thought in the back of your head of what the item could be but it was soon overtaken by the question on how Ghostbur hid something from Dream. The man was particularly good at finding things. But soon it made all the more sense to you as how it was harder for Dream to find the hiding spot.   
It started off a as a few patches of flowers. Red ones leading to the left, blues trailing off to the right, but specifically a small patch of white flowers were the ones Ghostbur lead you along. You recognized this pattern, it was one of your own.   
  
Flower Paths.   
  
You felt your heart squeeze hard as you looked up into Ghostbur's empty eyes, he seemed so cheerful as he watched the trail of flowering plants. Deeper and Deeper he lead you into the woods, tree's becoming taller and thicker until you couldn't even see out through the distant trees. It was just.. All woods.   
Ghostbur didn't stop following the flowers until he reached a thick spruce tree, it's trunk was so thick you could barely hug the front side of it. Releasing your hand, he floated up and up and up into the tree branches before shoving his hand into a hollow bit about twenty feet up the trunk. He let out a little 'ah ha', seeming to have found what he was looking for before barking down for you to close your eyes and put your hands out.   
Nearly buzzing with emotion and joy, you did so. You stood waiting with your palms to the branches above for a moment before you heard Ghostbur's voice rather close to your face. He must have been slightly leaning over you.   
  
" **Alright, don't open your eye's until I tell you to.** "   
  
You smiled and nodded, wiggling your fingers to show you were quite ready to be given your surprise gift. Your hands felt nothing but the air for many seconds before something that was... Oddly warm and firm was placed into your palms. It felt like an iron pan that had been cooling off but was smoother than fresh ice. Experimentally you curled your fingers, your right hand feeling fraying leather and the other the still sharp edges of something.  
" **I... Don't remember much of you from when I was alive. But I-... I remember you protected us with it once. I remember feeling safe whenever you had it.** " Ghostbur sounded like he was on the verge of tears.  
Your fingers prickled with a continuous warmth as a gentle gasp left your mouth as you put two and two together.   
  
"Ghostbur, can... Can I look?" You whispered, blindly turning your head up to where you last heard Ghostbur's voice come from. The tingle of cold air tickled your nose and cheeks as the specter let out a soft sigh, " **Yeah, you.. You can look.** "  
  
Your eye's fluttered open, looking up into the blank eyes of Ghostbur who was mere inches from your face with a goofy smile plastered across his face as his hands hovered under yours. Your cheeks warming at the proximity, you quickly decided to look anywhere else as fast as possible. So, you looked down at your hands... You nearly burst from pure elated joy then and there.   
The black steel that glinted in the dim and filtered light from above, the familiar hum of a blade ready to fight.   
  
Big Bertha was back. Your hand gripped her hilt almost immediately as you stepped backwards, every inch of you shaking violently as you gasped. "Bertha-" You choked, you thought you'd never see her again. Ghostbur watched you, awaiting your verdict on the gift. Stabbing the sword into the dirt below you tugged the ghost down into your arms as sobs shook through your throat, arms clinging around Ghostbur's as 'thank yous' flew from your tongue.   
Ghostbur stood, shocked for a moment as you clung to his sweater before he smiled and melted into your embrace. You really were his Yellow because even in his ghostly form he felt this face warm up at your touch.   
  
You felt tears sting your eye's, "You brought her back to me, 'Bur... You found her again for me..." Once again, not a moment too late before you knew you'd need to fight again Wilbur had managed to bring you back the one thing that made you sure you could protect anyone. As you clung to Ghostbur with all your might you could have sworn that for a moment, just a split second, you felt a thump of a heart in his chest. You stayed in a tight hug for a while until you had finally calmed down enough to let go of him and pluck Bertha from the earth.   
Ghostbur smiled proudly, obviously glad he had done something good enough to warrant a hug from you. " **Shall we head home then?** " His voice was happier than you've probably ever heard him before. You nodded and let him guide you back down the flower path and out of the woods until you were back in familiar territory.   
  
Soon you were back in the slushy-like snows and leaving muddy footprints through Techno's home as you tossed your boots next to the door and sat Ghostbur down next to you at the fireplace.   
  
"If you'd like I could.. I could tell you why you remember me having this sword, Ghostbur." You offered, twirling your swords hilt in your hands. Ghostbur nodded eagerly, pulling his knees to his chest as he awaited your stories. 

  
"So, it all started when this guy, Eret, lead us into a bunker..."   
  
  



	8. End on a Hai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been forever but I am back! After the latest SMP lore I finally have a point to work towards! I want to mention I will be having a Spotify playlist for this fanfic at soon! It'll be a mix of songs i've referenced and other songs I think fit well. 
> 
> Also I know invis potions don't effect armor but we are going to pretend.
> 
> Now lets continue...

[Mother, hold me high](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[I live in the dirt](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[Send me back into the light](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[Where I know](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[That nothing hurts me](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[Cause I've been there before](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)  
[I was even born and I think it was fine](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eJ1hD8UbPHzXZ2HjArv78?si=35a047d019c94a69)

\---

  
After a long chat with Ghostbur you finally felt exhaustion catch up with you as you had walked quite far in and out of the forest. You hands held on tight to Bertha as you finished explaining when you had lost Bertha to Quackity at the Manburg Festival. His eye's were wide as he drank in every description of your experiences.  
" **Why didn't I just... Go down and save you**?" Ghostbur mumbled, his voice almost scolding towards his past self.  
You shrugged, "I'm sure you had your reasons, plus there were so many people and you and Tommy were fugitives. I wouldn't have wanted you to put yourself in any danger either." Ghostbur seemed to not be satisfied with this reasoning, floating gently closer to you so your shoulders would sometimes bump together. It was nice, it reminded you of a time long before L'manburg or the Disk Wars.  
Your reminiscing was interrupted by shouting coming from not far off over a hill, most likely from Techno's house.

"Good Lord what are they doing..." You huffed, picking your pace up. Your boots were caked in mud by the time you got to the doorstep only to find Tommy barreling out of the house with a wild grin on his face, running straight into you. You yelped, making sure Bertha wasn't going to accidentally impale the poor boy who was completely oblivious to the item as he grasped your shoulders.  
"We're going to go back! Y/n, we're going back!" Tommy shrieked before Techno ducked out of the front door with a sigh, shaking his head as he produced three bottles from his pockets.

"Just to check it out. Plus I want to check on something I had been hiding in L'manburg." Technoblade's monotone voice caught at the end as his eye's lingered on the black blade in your hand. "Is... That..." Under his mask, an eyebrow raised in fascination as you gave it a twirl.  
"It is." You answered, Tommy finally noticing the sword with a big guffaw.  
"What!? You got it back? But how, I thought I dropped it in the ocean?" Tommy rambled, scratching at his head as he tried his best to figure out if maybe he just dropped it in L'manburg or something. Ghostbur shyly stepped forward.

" **Well... Actually, I found it on the beach a while ago. I hid it well just in case Dream tried to find it.** "

Techno seemed actually impressed, giving Ghostbur a once over before shrugging, "We can't bring the ghost but we can bring the sword. Here, drink this when we get through the portals." A potion bottle was thrust into your other hand, the liquid inside silvery and viscus. You shuddered, already knowing you'd dislike the feeling of drinking the elixir just from a glance.  
"Pardon, did you say we're going through portals?" You pocketed the vial, resting Bertha on your shoulder as you watched Tommy and Techno begin to walk down the path to the village. Techno let out a loud 'yup' and Tommy followed it up with an energetic, 'come on'.  
Ghostbur simply nudged you forward, " **Go on, tell me what it's like when you get back.** "

\---

You visited L'manburg many times after that day.

You helped Techno build a secret base, helped Tommy find his old house as well as manage to make a new friend with the boys.  
Ranboo. He was quite possibly the strangest person you've ever met. He was about 8ft tall and had what seemed to be an Enderman half and a Ghast half, both sides monstrous to see but he was...surprisingly sweet. Though he loomed over even Techno, the way he composed himself made him remind you greatly of Tubbo.  
He became the new Hercules Mulligan for you three. He's the one who let you in on secrets or plans of not only Tubbo but on the creation of Pandora's Prison. You found the talk of the prison the most concerning, who was Dream planning to put in an inescapable prison?

  
Not only was the friendship you made new but so it seemed was L'manburg. Almost everything had been renovated. Plus, today was a festival.

It was utterly bizarre. Everything looked... Bigger. Shiner.  
Christmas decorations were still strewn across L'manburg, many new paths and buildings were erected in the time you had left with Techno and there seemed to be so many new faces that you passed by. Though, they didn't spot you or the two boys you were following.  
How would they seeing as Techno always brewed invisibility potions for the three of you? Yourself and your compatriots were completely invisible save for the footprints you left behind.  
Signs littered alley's and windows of shops about a festival, your lip curled as you couldn't help but think of the horrible festivals of time past. But these were different ones, these would be run by Tubbo. You soon realized you had been staring, frozen, at one of the papers. You had nearly lost track of where Tommy and Techno went, thankfully you could spot some footprints forming from nothing a few yards ahead.  
You bolted back over to the boys, not wanting to lose them in L'manburg or be left behind.

Unfortunately, just cause you could see the footprints didn't mean you could see Techno as you walked right into him, toppling both of you over into a pile. You squeaked as you felt yourself land on something, well, rather you landed on Techno. Hands had caught your waist and held you, preventing you from tumbling down any further. Your face flushed as your hands rested on what you assumed to be some part of his chestplate.  
"I - uh... Didn't... See you there." You awkwardly laughed out, gaining a miserable groan from Techno.  
  
"Please don't make horrible puns while invisible, someone might hear and want to immediately die." Techno grumbled, lifting you with surprising ease off of him, setting you to the side to stand up. Or at least you assume he did from the shuffling of his armor next to you followed by the stifled laugh of Tommy. You snatched at the air where you heard the boy, catching his arm.

"Alright, we're using the buddy system, lead the way." You ordered, pulling yourself up and letting Tommy lead you through L'manburg after Techno's faint footprints.

From a distance you spotted the towering figure of Ranboo. Techno must have ran ahead seeing as Ranboo jumped a little for seemingly no reason, whipping his head about before teleporting not far from the hillside, gently waving for whoever he couldn't see to follow him as he leaned down and headed through a passage way. You didn't know who was around but you followed. 

The tunnel was dark and damp but when you emerged in the other side you were met with a huge cave, the roof of which was open to the skies. You smiled Techno and Tommy shimmered back into view, looking down at your own hands to see them warble into reality. Ranboo was animatedly describing the plans for the Festival, "-he'll also be following the 'no armor' rule!" Ranboo chirped to which Techno nodded slowly.  
You quietly listened in as you sidled next to Tommy, apparently they were talking about Dream.  
Tommy spoke up, "That would be the perfect time to strike then!" He grinned, you had to agree. Dream with no armor? Sounded heavenly. With the combination of Bertha and Techno's axe? You thought you might faint. Ranboo offered that you all stick around to watch from afar which you all quickly agreed to, Techno already handing out another round of potions.

You chugged yours after grabbing onto Tommy's sleeve (the buddy system was still needed), grimacing as it felt like slurping down slightly melted Jell-o that tasted more or less like swamp water that had been sweetened. Within a blink all three of you were vanished and Ranboo made his way out of the cavern. The three of you followed from a good distance, enough to see and hear most of the commotion. You followed around Tubbo mostly, watching as he greeted the community happily. It warmed your heart to see him again. Quackity approached the young president, seeming nervous.  
Tubbo calmed him down a bit, talking back and forth before being lead away from the festivities and to a new guest. The three of you followed, curious as to what he was doing and soon found yourselves a distance away from a familiar but destroyed spot in L'manburg.

Apparently Dream had arrived and was showing the 'butcher army' to the community house which had been... blown... up..

Your hand slipped from its tightening grip on Tommy's sleeve, realization hitting you, as you made a mad dash forward before a hand slipped around your mouth and the other pulled you back by the waist. You kicked, tears threatening to spill as you were dragged back behind some bamboo.  
"Stop! Your potion wore off.." Techno warned, but you thrashed, crying and reaching for the building.  
What if Birdo had been in there, what about the memories you had? Making Fundy a late night dinner, sitting in the living room with Wilbur as he asked you if he should run for president, watching Tommy and Tubbo come home from a day full of adventures.

  
Once again, your last place of solace had been blown up, but why? The history of that building swam in your mind and swirled with the fear that you had lost a past home.

Techno hushed you, pressing you into a tight hug as he rocked back and forth, straining his ears to listen in with Tommy as you trembled, turning and clenching your eye's tightly. You didn't want to see the smoldering mess of the community house.  
"I trusted you guys!" Dreams voice was laced with a wicked smile as it echoed over to your hiding spots. "Tommy was supposed to be stuck in exile."  
Tubbo and Fundy spluttered as Ranboo stepped forward, "He is is exile!" He cried, Tubbo echoed the statement as he gazed at the ruins of the building. "Why would Tommy even do this!?" Tubbo whimpered. Fundy reasured Dream the group no longer had affiliation with Tommy since his exile but the masked man simply shook his head.  
  
"Tubbo, it's because you have the disk still.." Dreams voice was nauseating to even hear, the amount of sewage and lies that he said made your stomach churn.  
  
Techno turned to look at Tommy, "Did you do it?" You realized now the invisibility potions had worn off again, you could see the pig mask looking blankly at the blond teen. Tommy's face dropped in disbelief at what he was hearing, "No! Of course not!" Tommy's attention snapped back to the Butcher Army and Dream.  
  
Tubbo faltered, looking to his friends then to Dream, "I don't-" "Look what he did! Look what happened, this was the oldest building we had!" Dream was horrible at hiding the smile in voice and it made you furious. He was lying through his teeth just to start shit. Just to hurt Tommy. The group clamored in objections, but no matter how much they denied they had any part of this Dream simply brushed their 'excuses' off.  
"This is what needs to happen." The masked mans voice turned cold and stern, "He has to pay for this, he can't just come- this is terrorism! This is the most historic building. And the only reason he keeps coming back is because," he rounded on Tubbo once again, "You have the disk."  
  
Tommy ran forward, keeping low as the group made their way into the half sunken remains of the Community house. Techno went to shout for him to stop but knew it'd blow your very obvious color, instead he opted to crouch and follow the teen himself with your hand in his. You stayed close, hand covering your own mouth as you took shaking gasps. You had barely even been able to go near where the 'Manburg festival had happened let alone the Community house when you'd come to visit. Memories hit your mind hard.  
Your wings shuddered and squeezed against your back. You wanted nothing more than to fly away in this moment but Techno's hand in yours kept you grounded as you stepped between a half dilapidated wall and a piece of the roof that had fallen down as to be able to spy with Techno and Tommy without being seen by anyone who might come by.

Ranboo spoke up, "Aren't you supposed to be the one watching him? You have to enforce his exile." Tubbo's eyes locked with Ranboo's as he realized how obvious that was but Dream shrugged it off, "How can I when you have the other disk? I have one but I need both."  
Your breath quickened as Techno let your hand go to hold onto Tommy's arm, preventing him from running forward. Your eyes were wide as you peaked through a missing brick in the wall... Many more people had arrived. You spotted so many that you didn't know... So many that you did.  
You whimpered, there were too many and you were going to be spotted or something and then they'd kill Tommy and Techno... You couldn't focus on anything but those thoughts. Your wings twitched as you curled inwards. It was too much. You could smell the resonating scent of gunpowder. The scorch marks on the stones around you. It was all too familiar.  
Words blurred together as your vision became one big white ball. There was shouting, a scramble and Techno shouting. Was it happening again? For the longest of moments you swore you heard a voice like Schlatt's, cold and unforgiving talking to him... You gasped as your hand jutted out to grasp a cage that wasn't there and you opened your eye's.  
  
Techno was peering around the brick wall... Tommy was gone. A chill rolled down your back as you collapsed forward, Techno turned with a huff and lifted you to your feet as he peered over his shoulder at where Tommy was now talking to Dream and Tubbo. Techno fixed his hands on your shoulders, "Dumb kid blew our cover-" Your hands grasped Techno's and pushed them off, "What-" You emerged from the corner, back straight despite the tears in your eyes.  
Your breath was short as you slowly stepped up from behind Tommy who was frantically trying to convince the others of his innocence.  
One trembling step at a time you revealed yourself, nervously staring up at everyone with your hand on Bertha's tingling and oddly warm hilt.  
  
Tommy whimpered as he motioned to Tubbo, begging for his friend to believe him, "It wasn't me, Tubbo! Why would I-"  
  
"It wasn't him." Your voice was stronger than you felt in that moment, your eye's filled with fear and your wings pulled taut against your spine. A quiet murmur rippled through the gathered crowd. You wanted to disappear then and there. The environment was too uncanny, too familiar.  
Tubbo looked to you with disbelief, "Y/n? You-... You're here?" Tubbo's voice brought you down a bit, your mind slowing as you finally looked into his face. Small horns peaked from his brown curls, his eyes just as wide and wondrous as they used to be. You gently nodded and stepped forward, taking Tommy's hand. "I can vouch for Tommy. He didn't do this."  
  
Techno grumbled as he too stepped from behind the wall, taking Tommy's other side to simply stare annoyed at everyone there. "This is ridiculous, he didn't do this." His voice was flipping again you noted, between the monotone and the gravelly tone he used at times. You wondered if that was when the voices were speaking a lot to him.  
Quackity flinched back, "What are you doing here, Technoblade?" Quackities hand twitched to his axe but your own hand jutted out, fingers closing around his wrist. For the first time in many months you stared Quackity in the face only to realize he had a mask on. It wasn't anything fancy or like dreams, but it did have a blockish smiley-face. Your curiosity was pushed down as you shook your head gently as you mouthed 'please' to him. Taking the hint that now wasn't the time, his hand relaxed and your grasp released.  
He stepped away, huffing as he walked to Tubbos side.  
  
Dream tensed as his mask seemed to linger on your hilt, "Why are you even-" "Listen," Techno's voice switched to the rumble-y kind again. "I know I'm not the most reliable guy to the government but Tommy wouldn't lie to me or Y/n, especially Y/n. Okay?"  
Tommy nodded enthusiastically, "I wouldn't lie!"  
Seeming to be rather annoyed that Techno interrupted him, Dream spoke up again. "He lied about burning Georges house! And I don't think this should involve either of you." Dream motioned between you and Techno. "She's just going to be biased and he's going to try and cover up for him anyway cause they're friends!"  
  
  
A quiet voice spoke up from behind you and Tommy, calling softly for the boy. You turned and met eyes with a tall woman who had fluffy hair and what seemed to be a pirate captain hat. She was eloquent but had the same blue eyes as Tubbo. The same furrowed eyebrows he'd get when he was confused. And the same amount of disbelief as the boy had slapped across his face.  
"M...Mom?"  
  
  



	9. Icarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smacks chapter* this bad boy can hold so much angst in it. 
> 
> I wrote this half awake so forgive me if some things don't make sense. Also I'm not gonna lie I am S O tempted for this story to have a sad ending but I don't know if I have the heart to do that to both you and myself lmao. Also enjoy getting called a nickname by techno :)))))

[You're putting up your armor when you leave](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[You leave because you're certain](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[Of who you want to be](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[Icarus is flying too close to the sun](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[Icarus's life, it has only just begun](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[This is how it feels to take a fall](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)   
[Icarus is flying towards an early grave](https://open.spotify.com/track/1xasoowGI2N5c4gykxKTlW?si=2a9ed88f0edd4e98)

\----

  
  
"...Mom?"  
  
Tubbo took a shaking breath as he looked up into the face of his biological mother. Her hand on a scabbard at her hilt as she stared down at everyone around her. No one said a word, not even Tommy.  
Her eye's landed on you but for a moment before she spoke with a voice so calm, "Tubbo, this boy. Tommy, right? He's like a brother to you, correct?" The piecing gaze from behind pure white locks seemed to strike Tubbo who nodded his head, "Yes of course but he..."  
Your eyebrows knitted, "Tubbo, trust Tommy! Why would you ever trust Dream!?" You shouted, a new flame being sparked at the sight of this stranger. You didn't know if it was an instinct kicking in but you felt the sudden urge to protect the boys from more than just themselves.  
  
Tubbo's nose flared, "I have trusted Tommy before! _Once-_ " his arm crossed, "-the first time something like this happened and I won't make the same mistake twice." Tubbo reached into his pocket and withdrew a slim but large leather-wrapped disk.  
Tommy hissed, teeth clenched as he reached for his sword. "Don't you dare."  
Tubbo didn't stop, unwrapping the leather package but Tommy lunged, screaming as he lunged at Tubbo. Immediately you flung yourself into the fray, your wings flapping as you tried to grab onto limbs that were clashing their weapons together. Somewhere the disk clattered to the ground as your hands gripped onto a pair of shoulders. You pulled with all your might, managing to get Tommy to stumble backwards and into your grip, finally under control, while Tubbo's mother pulled the other boy back in an arm lock.  
  
"Now that is _enough,_ Tommy." You scolded, holding his arms to his side as your wings blocked him from looking at Tubbo as he spit insults at his friend, claims of betrayal were thrown back and forth. Tears were being shed on both sides until finally Tommy crossed a line.   
  
"The disks were worth more than you ever were!" Tommy's voice silenced the entire world it seemed. The breath in his lungs caught as he processed what he said. The look of regret that seeped into every feature of his face broke you as you let him go to step aside in disgust.  
"I..." Tommy's eye's flickered between yours and Tubbo, the horned boy across from him had stop fighting against his mother, simply staring in shock at Tommy while his limbs seemed to be frozen. Gently, the white haired woman let Tubbo go so he could stand, hunched, in front of her.  
"I didn't.." Tommy's hands shook as he dropped his weapon, nearly throwing his helmet off as he reached for Tubbo's hand but Tubbo jerked it away, looking up at Tommy with utter betrayal.  
"Give... Give him the disk." Tommy could barely even look at his best friend when he said it, a glazed look in his eyes as he opted to stare down at the floor. Tubbo didn't move for a while, just staring at Tommy before reaching back and producing the last disk. _Tommy's_ disk.  
  
"You want me to give Dream the... Disk?" Tubbo was utterly confused but picked the disk up from its spot on the ground, twirling it in his hands. Tommy wordlessly nodded.  
  
Dream's voice made you jump, "He's realized he needs to pay, hand them over." Your hand clenched down on Bertha, staring directly into the eye's of the mask. A few new cracks adorned it now, surely no thanks to the pummeling you gave Dream mere weeks ago. The two younger boys seemed to ignore the older man, mumbling to themselves as they tried to explain to each other their thoughts but... Nothing came out. Broken 'i'm sorry's and 'i don't know's mixed together until finally Tommy lifted his head to stare into his best friends eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tubbo."  
  
"...I'm sorry- Do.. Do you want-" Tubbo became so small in that moment, holding the disk carefully in his hands in offer to the other boy, but Tommy shook his head.  
"No, no- just... No. Just give him the disks I-" Tommy rubbed at his face, eyes snapping shut as he saw Tubbo turn to hand the disk to Dream. Technoblade took a step forward as he watched the masked man grasp into the disk like a starved man who was just handed a buffet.  
"Tom-Tommy are you sure about that decision Tommy-" The gravel in his voice made you snap your focus back to the blond boy who softly spoke to himself.  
  
"What- What am I doing?" He sounded lost, confused. You reached out only to have Tommy flinch away from you. You swore you felt your heart snap a bit in that moment.

Techno glanced to the gathering crowd around the small commotion.  
"Tommy what are you... What are you doing?" His hand spun his sword absentmindedly as Tommy stepped away from him, backing up to Tubbo. Your face fell into a puzzled pinch.  
"This isn't me- Techno, I'm sorry, I mean I look around and... I'm not the person I want to be." He turned to look into the faces of those around him. "I'm so sorry." He whimpered.  
You tucked your wings around yourself, unsure of what was about to happen. Was he... Leaving?  
  
Technoblade seemed to loom over all of you more than ever (despite the few new faces who were well beyond 7ft tall), his voice monotone, "We can leave Tommy, we can still pearl out of here I can-" Under his mask something changed, be it a trick of the light or something but you swore the gold of his iris turned red as his voice switched to a growl, "We can still get out of here, we can regroup! We can plan for another day-" "Techno, if this is what we've become then I don't want to be me anymore. I'm sorry." Tommy cut him off, voice trembling but so certain.  
Techno's stance seemed to change. His back straightened as he stared down the nose of his mask at Tommy, "What do you mean Tommy?"  
  
  
The teen's reply was quiet: "I'm with Tubbo." The world was silent for but a second before Technoblade took a deep breath.  
  
Lips curling, Techno's voice grew steadily louder, " _Heh_!? Listen, Tommy, when I said at the cave I would take down L'manburg with or without you.."  
Your head snapped to Techno, your eyes narrowed. You knew he wanted to attack L'manburg but to take it down completely? You stepped away, shaking your head as you looked between the two of them. Tommy and Techno. Did you have to choose? Techno erupted as your brain ran a thousand miles an hour, "-I didn't mean that you switch sides against me!"  
  
You flinched at the outburst, "Techno he's..." your voice was quiet but Techno rounded on you, eye's boring into your skull.  
Techno snarled as he approached your trembling form, "And I'm sure you're going to betray me too! He's going to switch sides and you're switching with him because-"  
You bit back tears at his words as you began to try and to defend yourself but he could see it in your eyes, in the way you shuffled towards the blond child. Of course you'd stay with Tommy if he was going to attack L'manburg, why wouldn't you?  
Tommy stepped forward, "Technoblade I'm worse than everyone I ever hated! Everyone I didn't want to be." his voice cracked as he yelled, trying to match the volume of the pig-man. Techno ignored his cries, stepping back and readying his crossbow.  
  
"Fine... 1v30 it is!" He growled, readying his bow as Dream stepped forward, gently pushing the weapons tip down.  
  
"Now, now, now. Tubbo," Dream glanced to his target who was currently staring between you, Tommy, and Techno, "Tubbo, thank you for giving me the disk. I just want to say, you're an idiot." Dreams smile was unmistakable this time, the lilt of joy in his voice sent rage boiling in the pit of your stomach.  
"And you have no power and you're the worst president that has ever been president- actually you're not even President! Quackity is more President than you, _I'm_ more president than you!"  
  
Immediately you drew your blade, leveling her point at the mask as Dream laughed while continuing his rant.  
  
"You get pushed around by everybody on the server," Dream took a step behind Technoblade who lifted his crossbow to point between yourself and your boys. "You just gave me the one thing I need to destroy L'manburg, the only reason I didn't destroy L'manburg in the first place was because you had the disks. And I had to be your friend to get them back. I don't care about you, I'm not your friend. You can't even run your country right!" Dream leaned back, gesturing lazily to the half enderman beside Tommy, "Ranboo! Ranboo is a traitor! Your most trusted friend!"  
A chorus of objections rang around you but you focused solely on Techno, your blade pointed at his weapon as you stared into the eye's of his mask. You prayed he could see the begging in your eyes, the plea for him to stop and just stay with you. But whatever was staring you down as Dream announced for the people to look at Ranboo's memory book for proof, wasn't forgiving. And it's wasn't the Techno you knew.  
  
"He was meeting with Techno and Tommy and telling them everything!" Dream smirked, leaning forward with his hands shoved in his pockets as Tommy and Techno denied any such claims. Dream shrugged, "L'manburg is the weakest it's ever been. You've destroyed everything, ruined your friendships, not to mention L'manburg's allies. You're a horrible president." He moved to approach Tommy but your sword's blade caught him under his chin making him stop in his tracks, hands raised. "Not to mention you left them. You're the second weakest, Y/n. What, couldn't stand to look in the same direction where your dear Schlatt died?"  
Your teeth ground together, "Shut up." Your eyes watered as you felt sick at him even mentioning the last President.  
  
"Or maybe it's Wilbur's corpse you can't stand to think about?" Dream's mask tilted as he thought before nodding to your wings, "No, it's definitely Schlatt's. Your wings grew in nicely, same color as his hair, right?"

The roar that came from your throat was near animalistic as Bertha swung down, only to be stopped by the base of Dreams axe, your blade locked in place as his mask inched closer to your face. "Too bad you're so caught up on old flings.. Techno really liked you." He pushed back on Bertha's blade, sending you stumbling backwards into Ranboo's chest. You moved to lunge forward again but lanky arms tugged you back as Dream simply turned around to speak to Techno as he walked by the towering man. You looked up to see Ranboo staring down at you nervously, "Please don't..." He muttered. The look in his eye's was fearful, he could see the anger you held inside. It was more than someone of your size should have if he was being honest.  
  
"Hey Techno-" Dream tilted his head up to face unmoving warrior. Techno gave him a curious hum as his eye's never left yours. "-still got those Withers?"  
  
Techno finally stopped looking at you, a wide grin baring his tusks to the world. "Oh, I'm liking where this is going." He turned to face Dream.  
You felt the words leave your throat before you could stop them as in unison with Tommy you begged them to stop. You wriggled and writhed out of Ranboo's grasp as you stumbled forward to tug on Techno's sleeve. "You don't mean it, please you don't need to do this-"  
  
He didn't even look at you. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Dream?" Techno chuckled his voice switching to the gravely tone, "I've got a few Withers, Dream. We can work something out." The sleeve you clung to was tugged away from you as Techno pushed you back. You felt your heart crumble as you landed on your back, Ranboo yelping as he tried his best to catch you.  
You winced as your wings were caught under you and taking the brunt of your fall only to look up to see Techno as he leveled his crossbow at you.  
  
Dream stepped slowly, spinning to look into the face of everyone watching. "L'manburg is being destroyed. Tomorrow at 3PM."  
  
The outrage of those around him was abundant, Tubbo's mother reaching for her own blade as she swore up and down she'd have Dream's head before he laid a hand on her son. You felt the same but the overwhelming emotion of watching Technoblade stare down at you with no pity left in him brought you to tears. You begged internally for it all to stop, for the world to stop again. For it to go back to the way it was hours ago. Dream was rattling on about his plans of destruction but all you could hear was the blood rushing in your ears as you tried to think of a way to fix this.  
The world around you became a blur, the only one you could see clearly was Techno as you softly begged him, "Stop. Please." You couldn't lose another one. You lost Schlatt to his own stupidity, you lost Wilbur to his own design, but you couldn't lose Techno after all of this.  
  
After everything.  
  
Why, why couldn't you let it go? Why did it bother you so much? You mouthed the words, over and over to him. "Don't go." "Stay." "Stop." but none of it changed the utter wrath Techno looked down at you with. Dream and Techno turned to take their leave but you stumbled to your feet, wings drooping as you ran forward, charging at Techno's back.  
  
  
Bertha clanged to to ground as your arms wrapped tightly around the middle of the towering man. Your face buried into his back as your tears blotched into his armor as the words slipped from your lips.  
" _Please_ , stop." Your breath shook as you inhaled, his frame went stiff, hands gently resting over yours. His voice was low as his mask tilted towards you.   
  
" _Why_?"  
  
Why? Why did you want him to stay? Why didn't you want him to be angry at you, you were leaving him right? You were betraying his trust like Tommy was. But.. The feeling in your stomach told you why.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Because, I-" You didn't want to say it. You were so scared of it.  
  
  
"I love you." You said it so quiet you feared Techno didn't even hear you. But slowly he turned in your arms, hands holding yours in his as he stared down at you.  
"Y/n, you're an Icarus." He huffed, " _You don't know when to stop._ " Techno's hands squeezed yours as he leaned down. Your eye's widened as his lips pressed against your head before he turned and left you, shocked and alone.  
  
You just watched, paralyzed, as Techno and your worst enemy walked away, planning the down fall of your old home. To burn it all to the ground again in front of your eyes.  
  
  
\---  
  
  
You were introduced to everyone in L'manburg now though you barely payed attention as they said their quick hello's before rushing off to go prepare for the following day. You now sat in the hallways you used to sleep in when you'd wait for Tubbo to do his daily errands during his Vice-Presidency, meanwhile Ranboo sat with you as he kept apologizing for being able to catch you. You assured him it was no problem until he finally was satisfied that your wings weren't hurt.  
Tommy was avoiding you, and you were completely and utterly broken.  
  
Techno. After all of this, you should have known. After all- all he wanted was anarchy.  
  
You scolded yourself, how stupid were you to have confessed like that? As if your feelings would change his behavior, his way of life. You sat and stared at Bertha for at least an hour mulling it over. Finally Tubbo approached you, asking if he could have a word. You nodded and followed him into the room that Schlatt used to spend most of his days in. You almost couldn't even cross the threshold. Too many memories. But you needed to be here for Tubbo, at least that's what you kept telling yourself until you could breath again.  
  
"I know you... Like Techno but we need you tomorrow. Do you think you can fight? I see you have Bertha again." Tubbo nodded to the Netherite blade at your side. You nodded slowly, "I'm just tired, Tubbo."  
He hummed softly before making his way over to you, his hands wringing together as he seemed to contemplate something for a while before shyly looking up at you with watery eyes.  
  
"Can.. Can I give you a hug, Y/n?"  
  
You smiled softly, sniffling a bit before nodding with open arms. Tubbo practically collapsed into you. You laughed softly, tears threatening to spill once again as you tugged him as close as you could.  
  
"I thought I'd never see you again." Tubbo cried into your shoulder, hands clutched on your shirt. "You left without a word a-after Techno had those Withers.. Tommy had Bertha... Nearly scorched his own eyebrows off.." A bitter laugh escaped both your lips as you leaned against the nearest wall for support. You nodded into the top of Tubbo's head, "I saw... I watched you fight them from the hill. I wouldn't leave until I knew you both were alive. But I promised you... I'd always come back."  
Tubbo slowly relaxed in your arms, no longer crying and simply enjoying being able to be held by you again.  
  
Once he pulled away, he rubbed at his eyes with a big yawn. "I still need to talk to Quackity about what to do.. You can stay here if you'd like, seeing as the community house is..." Tubbo stopped, giving you an uncertain glance. You simply shrugged, voice strained as you told him it was alright and that you'd just bunk in one of the guest rooms. Tubbo nodded, loosely giving you directions to a free room as if you didn't have the hallways and rooms still memorized. You politely thanked him and reminded him to get some actual sleep before heading down a staircase and to a hallway lined with many office doors.  
  
Slowly the office doors became bedroom doors as you traveled further down. Just as you reached the room Tubbo had said been open someone called out for you. Turning you saw the familiar face of Quackity jogging up to you.  
"Y/n, there you are.." Alex puffed, looking a bit winded. You gave him a tired smile, leaning on the door frame to your soon-to-be-bedroom, "Hey man."  
Quackity fixed his bangs as he stuttered a bit, "I.. I heard what Dream said about your wings and if-.. If you want, before the.. Fight. I can take you to his grave."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "Who's..." Your brain caught up, connecting the dots before you felt an overwhelming emotion of sorrow. " _Oh_."  
Quackity recognized the look of pure despair that flashed across your features so he began to backtrack, softly you placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"Alexis, it's.. Fine. I'd be really happy to go. Th... Thank you." Your smile was genuine and that seemed to make the Vice-President happier. Alex nodded firmly, lips pulled into a tight line as you said a quiet 'good night' before smoothly entering the guest room.  
  
Closing the door behind you, you let out a heavy sigh. Releasing the doorknob you made for the bed in the center of the room, not bothering to remove your boots. You flopped, exhausted onto the bed, curling in on yourself with your wings tucked around yourself in a failed attempt of trying to feel like someone was holding you. Your eyes watered as you closed them finally, drifting into a dreamless sleep.  
  
  
  
What a God-awful day.


	10. Not The Same Person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a short chapter but it's a good one with possible foreshadowing

[She ignores me, she thinks that I'm a waste](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lXSBOTOmviaeeDlTBP79A?si=1293cef873d94ced)   
[And I beg her that I'm going to be okay](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lXSBOTOmviaeeDlTBP79A?si=1293cef873d94ced)   
[She doesn't believe in me anymore](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lXSBOTOmviaeeDlTBP79A?si=1293cef873d94ced)   
[And she doesn't believe in me anymore](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lXSBOTOmviaeeDlTBP79A?si=1293cef873d94ced)   
[And then we grow apart and life takes it's place](https://open.spotify.com/track/6lXSBOTOmviaeeDlTBP79A?si=1293cef873d94ced)

\---

Sunlight filtered in through dusty curtains as you slept peacefully, slowly coming to your senses to take in the perfect silence of the guest room you had zonked out in. You stared blankly into the equally blank ceiling, pondering what your day had to bring. You laid for an hour or so, letting your thoughts drift from topic to topic. Technoblade and Dream would attack today. You would get to see Schlatt's resting place. What has Niki been up to? Where's Birdo?  
Finally, fed up with the constant trickle of questions in your mind you brushed the blankets off of yourself.   
Slowly you realized you had (uncomfortably) slept in your day clothes.   
  
With a grimace you shuffled over to the guest rooms bath, deciding a quick rinse wouldn't hurt to help clear the brain as well as your skin. You were sure you were grimy and gross still, seeing as baths with melted snow could only do so much for a girl up in the arctic plains where you had resided up until now.  
  
The fresh water of the White House's shower was a welcome feeling, plus the water was actually constantly warm.

Your clothes were still a bit... Crinkled but you were sure it could be over looked for now. Maybe you could borrow some clean clothes from one of the boys? Would that be weird? Or maybe Tubbo's mom would have an extra dress lying around. Shrugging on your usual clothes and strapping a belt with a sheath for Bertha, you were quite prepared for the morning. You made your way through the ink-smelling hallways and to the kitchens. Mindlessly you reached into the mug cupboard and poured yourself a cup of the nearest hot drink which happened to be some coffee which, thankfully, seemed to only be an hour or two old. At least it was still warm...  
  
The kitchen was mostly empty aside from the empty tables and chairs that lined the yellowing walls. You plopped into the nearest seat and stared into your mug. Wait. It... Really was _your_ mug. Your lips curled into a smile as you read the old slogan Schlatt had plastered on every stupid mug in the cabinet during his presidency. You glanced guiltily out to the hallways.  
You should have accepted the coffee's Schlatt left for you. Maybe if you had, things could have been different. Maybe they would have been better.  
  
But you steeled your mind, he was horrible. He was a dictator and was the reason Wilbur and Tommy were exiled. He threatened Tubbo multiple times to get you to bend and tried to have you and his own vice-president executed publicly. But as you stared down at your hands you couldn't help but feel the ghosting sensation of holding onto his back as he cried into your shoulder as he drunkenly mumbled that he loved you and that he was sorry. The phantom weight of him leaning on you as he begged you to help save him from a lonely death.  
Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand gently patting your shoulder. You glanced up quickly, eye's fearful until you saw Quackity giving you a concerned look.  
  
"Do you still feel like going to see 'em?" Alex's voice was soft as he adjusted his mask, a sliver of scarred skin showing under it as the painted wood slipped slightly. Your eyebrows furrowed, "Alex did... You get into some bad accident or something?" you resisted the urge to reach up and check his face, if he wanted to hide it from the view of others you wouldn't force him to show you until he was ready.  
Alex shifted from one foot to the other. "Uh, yeah it was after we... Tried to kill Techno." He slid the wood off to reveal a horrible gap in his face.  
Where once was perfect skin was scarred over, raised and red with silver lines. The right side's scarring was worse than the left where there seemed to only be a small silver scar. His right eye had also been caught up in the battle it seemed as it was milky white. You softly cursed under your breath, standing to hold his face gently in your hands.  
  
Quackity flinched, not used to being comforted by anyone. You gently traced with your thumb at some of the scarring, eyebrows furrowed as you tried to think of any solutions you could make, you had made a few small potions for Tommy and Tubbo back in the day but you were afraid most of the papers and recipes you had used had been lost to time. Plus the scarring had already occurred. Alex just watched you inspect him, feeling your thumb go twice over the biggest scar he winced, "Toothpick."

It was a simple statement that took you a moment to process before wincing yourself, you mumbled as you let your hands drop to his, "Serves you right for trying to kill him, you surely didn't think it'd be that easy to kill him!" You huffed, pulling him into a hug. Alex was caught off guard, his hands still stiff at his sides as you gently pat his back, "I'm sorry he did that- that's... Utterly barbaric."  
Alex slowly lifted his arms around you. "No, I deserved it, I.. I thought I could've taken him he seemed weak..." His voice muffled as his gently leaned on you. No one had ever comforted him for this. In fact the only time he had actually been comforted was by you.  
Alex had known little about you outside of Schlatt's administration. He knew you were fiercely loyal to people who you deemed worthy of your friendship but he also noticed you tried to be loyal to nearly everyone. Some more than others, sure, but he couldn't help but remember at the end of the day you had come to him and helped him with his broken nose... Even if you broke it again a few hours later. To be honest, that's why he so willingly gave Wilbur and Tommy Bertha back. He didn't necessarily want to always be on your shit list.  
  


With a gentle pat to his back you let go, grabbing your cup of coffee as you made your way for the door. "Alright," you gingerly patted your belt to make sure you had everything you needed for the day, "Lets uh... Go see Schlatt."  
  
\---  
  
  
It wasn't a far walk, it was along one of the trails you used to patrol. Under a cliff with vines that seemed to turn crimson the further up they went. There was a black marble casket, withered flowers and piles of leaves covered most of the podium. Weeds over grown along the path. You stared at the flowers that did grow, violently red rosebushes lined the innards of the shrubbery in a pattern almost familiar. The flowering brush circled Schlatt's resting place and you felt your legs stiffen mid step as a chill ran up your spine.  
You grimaced as, though faint, you could smell a fiery brandy on the wind. Quackity stepped closer to the black casket, staring at it pitifully as you followed behind him, stepping to his side to stare down with watering eye's.  
  
You wished you could have been here for his funeral. You _should_ have been here for it. Same for Wilbur. Gently you dusted off the dirt on foliage from the top of the cold stone before resting your palm on the boxes edge. "Hey buddy." You mumbled. The wind whistled in your ears and you could of sworn a distant 'hey' was muffled in it. You stayed still, simply thinking of what you wish you could say to make it better.  
Would you even want him back at this point?  
Would you be happy if you had a ghost of Schlatt or just Schlatt back alive?  
  
Alex scratched at the back of his neck, "He uh... He liked you, y'know. A lot, actually." you simply nodded, you were aware of Schlatt's emotions towards you. But alex continued, "He was really jealous of your relationships actually." He snorted bitterly, "He was pissed one time in particular. Wouldn't shut up about how he caught you with 'Some masked guy had his mitts all over you' one night. Turned out it was Technoblade if I'm correct."  
You suddenly began to connect some dots. Maybe that's why he also kicked Wilbur out. Why he always seemed pissy that you got to be body guard for Tubbo. How childish and how Schlatt-ish. Instead of just upfront saying what he felt he danced around it cruelly.  
You scoffed at gently slapped the marble under your hand, "Idiot. Could have just said you were jealous." Once again a wind kicked up, this time quick but forceful. This wind had no words but it did fuck your hair up pretty effectively.  
  
A flapping in the air made both you and Alex a bit confused until Birdo landed on Alex's shoulder, pecking at his hat aggressively before Quackity shooed the bird away with a sigh, "Tubbo needs me."  
You tilted your head, "Tubbo?" You glanced at Birdo who flapped over to a branch to look curiously at you. Quackity nodded, "He said Birdo was yours? Yeah he like.. Uses him all the time for messages and letters. He's kinda like a calling card now." Gently, he prodded the birds head with a finger, "Thing's like the postman honestly. But uh, I gotta go see what the kid needs. You know your way back still, right?"  
You nodded before turning to stare at Schlatt's tomb. The wind had died down to a gentle breeze that tickled your wings. The leaves rustled as you simply watched the world around you for a bit, taking in the sights, the sounds, the smells.   
  
Once again you swore you could smell bourbon on the air.   
  
You glanced back down at the black box, "Why didn't you come back? Like... Wilbur? Why not just... Become a ghost. Then at least I'd still have part of you."   
  
The wind whistled in your ear and this time you were sure you heard a voice.  
  
" _Well firstly, I did._ "   
  
  
You whipped around, eye's searching for the disembodied voice of Schlatt. Eye's scanning through the rose bushes, looking and hoping to catch a glimpse of the former president. Bizarrely, the hairs on your neck stood and your wings felt icy-cold hands comb through them as what almost felt like a real breath of air tickled your ear, " _People simply didn't look for me like they did that British prick."  
  
_ You spun on your heel,only to catch a glimpse out of the corner of your eye of something like a persons body phasing into the wind. You stood, rather stupidly, looking about yourself.  
"Schlatt this isn't fucking funny come out here right now." You whimpered, arms crossing out of either defense or an attempt to comfort yourself. His laugh rang in your ears. It wasn't his crazed laugh, no, it was a gentle and happy laugh.   
Next to you, the wind slowly became words once again.  
  
" _You're still no fun, you know that?_ "   
  
You turned your head to the left and there he stood.   
Staring at his own tomb, horns curled and hair messy. His eye's had the same blankness that Ghostbur had but from his mouth were stained trickles of black blood. He wore a blue, scruffy sweater with a broken heart stitched into it. He didn't turn to look at you yet, he just stayed still.   
Slowly you turned your attention back to his tomb, there wasn't even an inscription of his name on the damn thing. No date of birth or death date. Nothing. How could they do that to him? Leave him with an unmarked grave? Did they really hate him that much that they couldn't give him a basic grave.   
  
" _It looks fuckin stupid._ " Ghost Schlatt mumbled, scratching at his half grown-in beard as he kicked gently at the side of the coffin. You supposed they were supposed to be like the mutton chops he used to have.   
You shrugged, "Mostly because no one actually took care when making it for you." Gingerly you reached over to one of the rose bushes, plucking the brightest colored one you could get to before placing it gently on the top of the marble box before walking back to Schlatts side.   
" _Nice wings._ " He mumbled, staring at the rose you had placed. "Color's interesting, makes you look like you were a fan of my hair color or something."  
"They're 'cause of you, you know." You stretched mentioned appendages out, letting Schlatt look at them out of what you assumed to be the corner of his eye seeing as he slightly tilted his head your way.   
A gentle smile curled on his lips, " _Aw, really?_ " 

"Because you died in my arms. And... You cared for me or something... Or I cared for you." Gently you lowered the dark brown wings, letting the tips of your feathers graze the ground. For a while all the two of you did was stand and look at the grave. It was rather sad. You wondered if he remembered anything of his past unlike Ghostbur who needed to have most of his history repeated back to him. Something in his eye's told you he knew, but part of it was disbelieving.   
  
"Technoblade and Dream are going to destroy L'manburg today." The words tumbled from your mouth as you tried to hold back how upset it made you. Schlatt scoffed, " _Fuckin' knew that guy was bad news._ " Which earned him a 'look' from you. Slowly he shrunk back, " _I-uh... I'm sorry though. I know you do actually care for Manburg._ " "L'manburg." You corrected. Schlatt raised an eyebrow at you, " _Fine. L'manburg._ "  
  
Your mind wandered once again to what you were going to have to do that afternoon, you both stood there together for nearly an hour. Finally Schlatt gave a huff, beginning to turn away.  
" _Well, feel free to come back anytime. I'm usually just hanging out up in the void for a bit. Tell that Ghostbur fucker to leave me alone when he comes to visit-_ "   
Your hand had reached out for his, fingers weaving with his as you pulled him back towards you.   
"P..Please don't leave again." You whispered, afraid you wouldn't see him again after this. "I.. Don't know what you remember about before but I feel awful. You did shitty things but you didn't deserve that sort of end and I'm sorry I couldn't do better."   
  
Schlatt slowly turned, staring at where your hand was curled around his own. " _You're... Sorry?_ " His voice was lofty in disbelief before he gently chuckled, " _Kid, I was horrible to you. Why are you apologizing? I deserved that death. Surrounded by everyone who hated my guts. Clinging onto you as if you would care any more than they did-_ "   
You gently smacked his arm, "I didn't hate you!"   
His eye's widened, " _You... Didn't?_ "   
"Of course not!" You gasped, "Why else would I come back here to see you!?"   
  
You watched as globs of thick, oily black liquid formed in the corner of his eye's. " _You.. Didn't hate me?_ " His shoulders slumped. " _After... After all I did to you. I almost killed you Y/n. How.. Why.._ " He couldn't wrap his head around your apparent care. Your own shoulders slumped as you pulled him in for a tight hug.   
"I just said I cared about you! I couldn't hate you. Sure, I was right pissed when you tried to execute Tubbo and I, but you were just... You weren't always like that. You were nice once, you were my friend."  
The tears that leaked from his eye's felt cold as they smudged into your shirt, " _I thought you were joking I-_ " he had completely buried his face into your shoulder as his semi-transparent form shook while his hands clung to the back of your shirt, fingers sometimes reaching up to bunch into the base of your wings.  
Some words he managed to get out were insults on how you were 'stupid to still care' and others were 'I'm sorry's or 'I wish I was better then'.   
  
It felt horribly familiar. The smell of faint alcohol reached your nose. No.. Not just alcohol. Home baked cookies and coffee's left untouched in early mornings. You were suddenly back in the night he drunkenly confessed to you. With the grass wet beneath your feet at some horribly late time of night. Horns grazing the side of your head, you buried your face once more into his chest as you sobbed softly, finally admitting something you always hated to.   
  
"I'm scared, Schlatt."   
  
You never liked to admit it. It made you feel weak but you felt okay being weak with Schlatt, maybe it was because you had seen him at his weakest. Maybe it was because you knew he might be an asshole and tell you to suck it up. But he didn't, he just rubbed your back.   
" _I am too._ " He confessed, albeit rather muffled as he was still hiding his own face in your shoulder. " _But hey, if you die we can totally fuck with people as Ghosts._ "   
  
You could feel the curl of his smile in your skin, you gave him a short and sad laugh, "Sounds like a plan." You simply stayed together, holding onto each other until your breath evened out and your minds calmed. And then as you opened your eye's, the wind kicked up and just as quick as he had appeared...   
  
He was gone.   
  
Sniffling, you scrubbed at your eye's, turning briefly to look one more time at his tomb. "I'll be back after the fight. I promise." 


End file.
